While You Sleep
by Beck89
Summary: AU: Emily and Naomi are starting to rebuild their relationship but a dangerous person soon threatens their newfound peace. "All she wanted was to be the object of someone's affection and she would do anything to get it."
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello again. It has been far too long since I've been on FF and even longer since I've actually written anything. For those wondering if I will ever update Distorted Perception, yes is my answer. When? Sometime soon. I am officially not going to say next week or any time at all because I psyche myself out and then you're all left waiting and wondering so...the fourth chapter will be out soon. For those of you who have never read DP, well, you know, you could give it a go and tell me what you think. You don't HAVE to but it would be super cool :D**

**Right, now this story is so completely different from anything I have ever done, written or thought of and if I'm totally honest- it's exciting for me to go out of my comfort zone and introduce this story to you all. I have to say though it couldn't have been possible without the help of _you know who you are_. You've been a huge help and great friend and words can never really express that. **

**To all of those who have met someone that's made you feel unsafe in your own skin, well, you'll understand this...**

**Disclaimer: Rated M for gory, evil stuff**

**(Oh and the little lines that pop up mean a change in scene in case I lose any of you)**

* * *

**While You Sleep**

**Chapter 1**

She could not remember what time it was, that was a mistake she was careful not to make. It was important to recall-her survival depended on it. She held her head in her hands, one foot tapping against the cold cement; the noise drowned out in the music blaring from the speakers. She rubbed her temples, her hair damp, swaying as she rocked back and forth. She never liked the quiet. It made her uncomfortable and edgy. So she filled the silence with music. She could do with conversation, some sort of connection to the people around her but no one was ever interested in her. She was always the loner, the outcast...the freak. No one ever wanted her and no one ever would. The only person she felt like she had shared something with lay unconscious several feet away. Even covered in dirt, her face bruised and bloody, she thought the girl looked beautiful. Her features were relaxed, a stark contrast to the reality of the situation. The girl had her wrists chained to a water pipe that stuck out in a corner of the room after she tried to escape...twice.

In a way it was fitting. She wanted to keep her, from the moment she laid eyes on her, the way the sunlight bounced off her dark locks, her brown eyes reflecting a peace and tranquility that she craved. Those eyes that pulled her and locked her in. She wanted those eyes on her. She still remembered the way her heart fluttered when they made eye contact across the room. The girl had smiled warmly at her and she, like a coward, looked away and walked out, but not before hearing one of her mates call out her name- Rachel. It was then she knew she had to have her at all costs. She wanted Rachel to look at her that way again. She needed to make Rachel hers.

* * *

_It took several weeks before she picked up the courage to speak to her. It didn't help that Rachel was constantly surrounded by her snotty friends. But one fortunate day, she went to the uni library, walking without really paying attention to her surroundings. She opened the double doors, turned to the left where the "study" area was, a section of the library where there were just enough tables and chairs for a few students seeking peace and quiet from the noise common area. At first she didn't see her sitting in the alcove against the far wall. She only noticed her once she sat down and settled in, finding those dark eyes looking on in amusement. _

_She froze, not really knowing what to do or say. She had never been the subject of scrutiny before, but there she sat, the girl she had watched from afar, looking back at her, a glint of something in her eye and she couldn't look away. She was drawn and as awkward as she must have looked, she didn't dare move or break the stare. If this was the only moment she would get with her then she would take it, as fleeting as the moment turned out to be. _

_She cleared her throat and stood from where she sat, smiling softly at the jaw dropped girl. She had seen her around campus and if she wasn't mistaken, she had courses with the reclusive girl before her. _

"_Hi," she said softly, hoping to engage in conversation with her. _

_The small word seemed to snap her out of the daze she was in and she looked up at the expectant look on the other girls face. She cleared her throat and licked her suddenly dry lips. Stay calm, just stay calm. _

"_Hey." She inwardly cringed at how stupid that came out. _

_The other girl merely chuckled and placed her arms behind her back, still holding the book she was reading diligently only minutes before._

"_Is that how you greet all the girls?" she said with a smirk on her lips, lips that she watched closely and knew the shape of like the back of her hand. _

"_Only the pretty ones." She felt herself blush after she said that but it was time to be bold. If she didn't make a move on her now, she never would. _

"_Pretty? What makes you think I'm pretty?" _

_She looked up quickly then, shocked that the other girl said such a thing. Did she not know how perfect she was? How the way her body swayed when she walked made her heart beat frantically? Was she not aware of how both boys and girls alike at their university flocked around her like moths? She noticed a smirk on those full lips she craved so much. _

"_You're joking, aren't you?" she asked hesitantly, afraid of offending her and losing her chance. _

_Rachel chuckled softly and then sighed. "There's more to a person then just their external appearance." She walked past her, their shoulders brushing against each other when she stopped suddenly and turned around. _

"_You're in my economics course...right?" _

"_Um the one with Professor Snape?" _

_She made Rachel laugh with the nickname she had for the instructor. Truth was, their instructor bore an uncanny resemblance to the Harry Potter character, or at least the actor who portrayed the character. _

"_Do you have a nickname for everyone or only a select few?" _

_She shrugged and walked closer to Rachel, the fear and nervousness she once felt disappeared, replaced by something else. Something she hadn't felt in a while. _

"_Would you like to know yours?" _

_The brunette appeared stunned by her boldness but nodded nonetheless. _

"_Bella durmiente," she whispered staring straight into those brown eyes she loved so much. _

_Rachel looked perplexed but smiled politely. "What does that mean?" _

_She paused for a moment before leaning in, smelling the sweet scent of lavender and citrus in her hair, her skin so pale and soft she couldn't help but lick her lips wanting to taste her. She didn't realize how long she had lingered, lost in the scent, her eyes closed she didn't notice when Rachel stepped away looking at her strangely. There were no further words said. The brunette walked away as if she were the plague. She decided then and there, that Rachel was hers and she would do anything to make that happen._

* * *

The sound of her prisoner stirring from her slumber snapped her form her reverie. She smiled softly, she always got what she wanted. Her eyes roamed around the girls half naked body, a blanket placed underneath her to keep her warm against the cold cement. It was when Rachel tried to move her arms that the handcuffs clanked against the pipe it was attached to, did she notice they were being held in place. Her wrists were raw from how tight she had snapped them on. It was the first time she used handcuffs, she hadn't meant to hurt her.

"Hey," she said nervously from across the room. "Now I know what you're thinking...I know how bad this looks but I promise, I'm only trying to help you. I love you Rachel, I always have.

She was met with absolute silence, then again, there was duct tape covering her mouth eliminating the possibility of someone hearing her shout. Not that it was likely. She had purposely rented the last floor on the far side of an old warehouse built on the outskirts of the city, away from prying eyes. No one would be here. She made sure of it.

She stood up not sure what to do, staring at frightened brown eyes. It wasn't supposed to have happened this way. Yes she wanted Rachel, she loved her- but not like this. Or maybe this is what it came down to. Maybe this is what it was supposed to be like; the only way Rachel could understand that they were meant to be together. Something clicked inside of her then- it was as if she had been a wandering ship afloat on tempestuous seas before the sunlight streamed through dark clouds. She hurried over to Rachel, muffled cries and tears falling down her cheeks. She shook her head, holding her hands up, kneeling in front of her. She couldn't stand to see her like this- she didn't want to cause her pain. She wanted to make her laugh. She wanted Rachel to be happy...with her.

"Shhh..." she whispered soothingly, trying to calm the distraught girl in front of her, her hands aimed towards running her fingers through her dark locks, only to be kicked away. It wasn't a strong enough kick to physically harm her but it hurt to know Rachel intended on inflicting pain.

"Is that how this is going to be Rachel?" she shrieked angrily causing the other girl to cower. She sat next to the brunette, taking deep breaths. "I'm sorry."

She looked to her left hoping to meet Rachel's view so she could see her sincerity but Rachel wouldn't look at her. She had to say something, anything to get her attention. She reached in her pocket and took out the scalpel she acquired from the medical lab at the university. It still surprised her how lax security was, any crazy person could get in. She shook her head and turned towards Rachel, who upon seeing the sharp instrument had started to shake her head profusely, fresh tears streaming down her face.

"I don't want to hurt you baby. I promise. I just want to talk to you."

She reached across slowly so as to not alarm her, "I'm going to remove the tape okay? You have to promise not to scream Rachel...okay? I'm not going to hurt you-I could never hurt you babe. Please, trust me."

She waited until the other girl nodded, it was almost imperceptible but it was the reassurance she needed to make her more comfortable considering the circumstances. She moved forward since Rachel couldn't, her hand caressing her cheek momentarily, before peeling the corner, ripping it quickly causing her to yelp loudly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad." She hadn't realized the tape was stuck onto her skin. The tape left her skin raw, bright red. She felt sick with herself for causing her pain.

"Fuck..I'm so sorry. I'll make it better I promise."

She was shaking. This wasn't going the way she planned. She had to focus but it was hard to control her frustration. She blinked and took more deep breaths. She could sense the fear coming off in waves from the brunette. She broke down then and cried.

"I'm so sorry," she said in between gasps for breath. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I swear." She looked around the area wildly. "I wanted to take you out, proper. Ask you to go on a date with me. I wanted our first date to be at that Italian restaurant- the one with the tiramisu you love so much? I was gonna take you there on a candlelit dinner, just the two of us."

She wiped the tears from her face. "Do you have any idea what it's like to love someone SO much? To want that person more than anything you've ever wanted before? To dream of them at night and wake up thinking of that person?"

She stood suddenly, running across to the other side where she had put a box the night before with some of Rachel's personal belongings. She grabbed the soft white blanket, the one with her scent and rushed back to her.

"Are you cold?" She asked concerned. "Here."

She draped the blanket over her, her hand resting on the girl's thigh. She laughed out of nowhere, pressing her side against Rachel's.

"That's what you are to me. From the moment we first spoke-"

"That was a mistake."

She was shocked by the harshness in her voice.

"No baby- no, don't say that." She licked her lips, her mouth dry. "I know it's hard to admit your feelings at first. Believe me I do-"

"I feel nothing for you."

She stared at her in shock. It was the most she had heard her speak in days. Maybe she needs to see. Yeah. Maybe she's just scared my intentions aren't right. Just make her see. Once she sees she'll know. She will see, just be patient.

"You don't mean that. It's just scary to-"

"You're the only thing that's scaring me! You tied me up in a dingy room-what the fuck is wrong with you? This isn't love."

"I've waited for you," she interrupted bellowing. "I know what love is! It's when you're willing to put someone else's needs before your own. They become your priority. You're not happy unless they are."

"I'm not happy," she punctuated by banging her fists against the pole, the action making her wince, before bursting into tears.

"Babe, are you okay?"

"Stop calling me that!" she yelled, crying loudly. "Let me go. Why won't you just let me go?"

She slowly realized she was losing Rachel, she would never see what she could be for her. All she wanted was to love her, to be loved, to have something special. She grabbed the scalpel, gripping it tightly.

"I'm a prisoner just like you. This hell hole," she gestured frantically, "you helped create it. Don't fuckin' blame me. It's your fault!"

She saw the scared puzzled look on her face and she stood up pacing. She rubbed her temples as she felt an all too familiar tightening in her chest. She took a moment to compose herself. She couldn't be weak. Not now. Rachel needed her. She needed to stare into those beautiful eyes and feel at peace again.

"Rachel just-"

"Let me go please..."

"Baby just-"

"I won't tell anyone."

"Please don't-"

"I want to go home..."

"Can't you see..?"

"Let me go!" she shrieked desperately.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she rushed forward, slamming her against the wall. She could feel the other girl shaking, the crying had started again. This wasn't going to end well. She could feel it already.

"You don't fucking get it do you?" she snarled. "You're so self absorbed, so fucking blind to what's right in front of you. YOU approached ME first. You played your little games. YOU taunted me. I know you wanted me."

She raised her hand making a point to show off the scalpel, letting her know who was in charge. "You had your fun. You've teased me. I'm right here baby." She pressed her forehead against Rachel's. "It's okay. We don't have to play games any more. We can be together."

"Please don't do this," the other girl pleaded. "I won't tell anyone. You can let me go."

"NO!" she yelled furiously. "Let you go? No, not happening. I'm not gonna...baby, I can make you happy give me a chance."

There was a silence while both girls stared at each other, one pleading, the other calculating.

"Okay," she conceded quietly.

She couldn't believe her ears. "Really?"

The other girl merely nodded, agreeing. "Can you take the handcuffs off? My wrists hurt."

She couldn't contain herself as she wrapped her arms around the brunette. "Yeah of course. I'm sorry baby, can you see now why I had to do it?"

She was excited, ecstatic. She reached behind her and grabbed the small key, smiling at her while she uncuffed her, throwing the rusty metal across the room. She barely had time to register the blow Rachel delivered to her face, a well aimed elbow to her nose. She felt the bone snap and howled in agony falling to the floor. She thrashed her arm around hoping to strike back before she escaped. She didn't hit her but as Rachel tried to escape she ended up falling on top of her and she held on despite the slaps and punches aimed to cause more injury, she held on, flipping them both over as she wrapped her hands around the brunettes neck.

"You stupid whore!"

She squeezed her hands tighter around Rachel's throat, but she was still able to let out an ear piercing scream. It made her nervous, anxious… it made her panic. She felt uneasy. She felt herself lose control over her own body as a tremble turned into a shake. Her chest tightened and caused her pain, she couldn't breathe. She was useless and that was one thing she never wanted to be. It implied weakness and she couldn't be weak. Her eyes searched around frantically, looking for the scalpel that had dislodged itself from her tight grip when Rachel had directed a blow right to her face. It had to be here somewhere. It couldn't have gotten far. She turned her had to the left and caught the shiny metal object reflect in the light. She felt relief flood over her as she made eye contact with the small instrument and felt her chest loosen. Her lungs no longer felt as if they were being squeezed by an invisible hand. Her heart rate slowed back downl. She no longer felt that she was losing control of herself but the screams coming from the one she loved still made her feel extremely edgy. She knew what would cure her of these ugly feelings. She needed to silence that scream.

She lunged to the side, one hand still wrapped tightly around Rachel's throat as she reached out to snatch the scalpel. Once it was back in her hands, she could have sworn it felt as if someone had just injected her with some sort of drug. A drug that took away the pain, the hurt, the worry, the anxiety; it made her feel in control, there was no denying that and now all she had to do was eliminate the very thing that made her feel as though she had lost herself but the screams ceased. Was she winning Rachel back? Did Rachel understand her and realise that she belonged to her? She stared down into Rachel's wide and frightened eyes as she told her that everything was going to be alright. She released her grip slightly from around Rachel's throat as she leaned down and hovered over her, close enough for the blood that was streaming out of her nose to drip onto Rachel's chin.

"Tell me you love me." She whispered gently.

Rachel just stared back at her unable to speak. She whispered it again, more forcefully this time.

"I…"

Rachel couldn't finish the sentence and this angered her. She witnessed tears well up in her eyes and stream out fluently down the sides of her face. She couldn't handle the sound that was coming from Rachel. It was like a wounded animal, terrified. All those feelings, the anxiety was starting to rise inside of her again. She knew if she didn't silence her this time, she wouldn't be able to control it. She raised her hand up and in one swift movement, she plunged the scalpel into Rachel's neck twisting the instrument in her throat. It stopped the noise she was making but then replaced by a scream as Rachel cried out in agony followed by the sound of gargling as the blood filled her throat and forced its way down into her lungs.

The brunette coughed involuntarily as she tried to breathe, spraying blood all over her face and chest. Rachel screamed again or tried to but with the scalpel still inside her oesophagus and a final twist to the right it effectively severed her vocal cords silencing the gorgeous brunette in front of her. With Rachel laying beneath her, she watched as she slowly drowned in her own blood. She tilted her head to the side to allow some of the blood to escape, running her fingers softly through her hair to comfort the woman. It was far too soon to watch Rachel's life slip away. She needed to do one more thing. One more thing that would make Rachel forever hers. She tilted Rachel's head back up so she could stare into those magnificent brown eyes. The same brown eyes that drew her in the moment she took one look into them. The same eyes that told her that she was the one.

"Babe, I need you to look at me…"

Rachel exhausted and having no fight left did as she was told. She felt her life slowly slipping away. Pain, she no longer felt. Her body was in shock and she was numb. She knew her life would be over in minutes, possibly seconds. As her eyelids grew heavy and she succumbed to the exhaustion she felt, the last thing she heard as she slipped into the darkness was…

"I want to be in those beautiful brown orbs… forever."

She lifted the scalpel and pulled the eyelid back gently, almost affectionately. The end of the blade was carefully slipped under the lid and moved around the eye in a 360 degree motion. It cut through the muscle easily and as she pulled the eye out slightly she had one more thing she needed to do to ensure that she would be in those eyes until the day she died. She severed the optic nerve and as she held the eyeball in the palm of her hand, all the love she felt for Rachel was felt in every inch of her body. She crawled over to where she left her bag, a small jar of of saline closed tightly. Unscrewing the lid, she dropped the eyeball in it, watching it bob for a moment before it slipped to the bottom. Crawling back to Rachel's lifeless body she resumed worked on the other. Now Rachel knew: she would forever and always be the apple of her eye.

* * *

"Oi!"

The sharp yell snapped Naomi from her reverie. She fixed her steely glare on the perpetrator, her mate and driver of the rickety van, James Cook, or Cookie as he called himself. With a cheeky smirk in place, he wiggled his eyebrows and puffed his chest.

"Thinking of me were ya?"

She grinned slightly before leaning over to punch his forearm. Hard.

"Ow! Fuckin' hell you have bony fingers."

She sat back in her seat, her head lolling against the head rest, silence filling the van except for the sound of her belongings sliding across the back. She had grown used to the silence. It didn't bother her anymore. A month of silence from a girlfriend that could barely speak to her. Naomi didn't blame her, she knew she had fucked up. She had gone back on her promise to Emily. A promise she made to be faithful, to only have eyes for her. A promise that she broke when she cheated on her. What could ever have possessed her to have done that, she will never know. She couldn't blame it on the drugs Cook had given her that night, on any amount of alcohol because the fact was it wasn't Emily she kissed or touched. There was no excuse and now she had to live with the regret and shame of her actions; something that was slowly eating away at her.

"Hey," she felt a warm hand on her thigh squeezing encouragingly. "Penny for ya thoughts?"

Naomi turned her head, tears in her eyes, she held on to Cook's hand, gripping it tightly, unable to contain it all in anymore, she cried. She cried for hurting Emily like she did. She cried for destroying what they had. She had always loved her, had always wanted her and now she had nothing. Emily couldn't forgive her, she didn't know how to fix it and the distance between the two had grown to the point where they couldn't manage more than one word answers. She could see the sadness in her eyes. Those brown eyes that were always warm and inviting.

So when the silence grew and they spent more time avoiding each other than being with one another, that's when Naomi knew she had to leave. She had to go away before she ruined Emily and made her bitter. She was poison. She never deserved her love, even if she thought she could be enough for her.

She felt the old van lurch over the hill before swerving to the side of the road, gravel crunching underneath the weight of the vehicle as it came to a halt. A pair of strong arms enveloping her in a warm embrace, She placed her forehead in the crook of his neck, the smell of cheap cologne, cigarettes and sweat invading her senses. She cried harder missing the scent of Emily's hair when she woke up in the morning with her arm draped over her side. She missed her more than she could ever have imagined.

"There, there girl. Uncle Cook's here now."

He rubbed small circles on her back, kissed her temple, trying to soothe her as best he could. He had seen it coming. The girl at the club had practically stalked Naomi all night. He should have never left her on her own. He knew she didn't think things through when she was angry...and drunk. In a way, he felt like it was his fault. If he hadn't left for a quick shag, he would have made sure Naomi didn't leave to the toilets, Emily wouldn't have walked into the club looking for her girlfriend and seen what she saw. He knew ultimately it was Naomi's choice, she couldn't be babysat every hour of the day but he could have been a better friend. Which is why when Naomi suggested moving out, even though he knew it wasn't right, he helped her load the boxes into his Uncle Keith's van and drove her where she asked him to.

"I've ruined your shirt," Naomi said once she calmed down. Her face was red, her eyes puffy but Cook couldn't help but think she would burst into tears again.

He looked at his polo and couldn't tell the difference. He had grabbed the first thing he could find and threw it on when Naomi called him. He looked back up at her grinning pointing to the other mysterious stain. "Nah babe, spots match each 'ova now."

Naomi laughed at his response. She knew what he was trying to do, make her feel less lost because that's how you feel when you've lost someone you love. There is an emptiness inside, a cold feeling that takes over because it hurts to feel anything else.

"I fucked up," she said quietly, staring at the faded vinyl. "I fucked up bad."

Cook nodded not sure what else to say. He saw when Emily ran out of the toilets, the devastation, the hurt etched on her face. Then Naomi followed scared, screaming for Emily to wait...

"I don't know what to do," she continued, her gaze on the view outside. She looked like she was going to break down again. He put his hands on her shoulders smiling gently.

"You're gonna go to this uni and blow all of 'em frat boys and girls' minds. You're a smart girl Naomikins. You're gonna be alright, I promise ya."

Naomi smiled before embracing Cook again, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're a lot nicer than people think, aren't you Cook?"

He smiled and pinched her side laughing when she shrieked, smacking his shoulder. "Fuck you."

"Fuck you right back."

* * *

"Was that all?"

Cook set down the pair of boxes he brought up from the van, kicking it to the side, his face red from the exertion. "Yeah that was all of it. You sure you can afford this place Naomi?"

She smiled pulling a jumper over her head. "I already have a job lined up and I'm paying what any other student would be paying Cook."

He looked at her seriously and then around the flat. It was an old hotel remade into cheap apartments. With its' high ceilings and arched doorways, the place had a gothic feel to it. He didn't like having Naomi live all on her own. He wasn't that far away if she needed something but it still made him uneasy. Naomi could sense her friend's hesitation and smiled encouragingly at him.

"How's this, once I get settled in, maybe a semester or so, I'll post an ad for a room-mate. There's a spare bedroom and there's plenty of space...alright?"

He looked at her, clicking his tongue. "You want some stranger in here? You know how many psychos are out that don't ya? Nah, that won't do blondie."

"Okay, a classmate, someone I've spoken to and hung out with and I'll make sure they pass the Cookie monster test of approval, how's that?"

He shook his head still not comfortable with the idea. "Cook, I have no one else. Emily was supposed to be here with me but..." she said, staring at the floor, crossing her arms in front of her.

He put his hands in his pocket, sighing. "I meet 'em first, yeah? And no blokes in 'ere."

Naomi smiled and placed her hand over her heart. "You have my word."

He nodded, moving forward to kiss her cheek. "I've gotta go but promise me you'll call me if ya need anythin'?"

She nodded and hugged him once more. "Thank you. I don't know what I would've done without you."

Making sure she was okay, he turned around and left leaving Naomi behind watching him pull out of the car park, five stories up. She stared out of the window at the view before her. The apartments were owned by the university but were on the outskirts of the city. It was quiet and she could hear the faint echo of voices of other students in the building. Sighing, she turned around and stared at the space around her, thinking about how quickly life changes. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and fished it out, unlocking the screen to read a text message.

**Cook: Ems called. Not happy.**

She walked over to her bed, throwing herself on it, her mobile still in her hand. Her thumbs hovered over the screen, unsure of what to type. She mulled over several responses before sending one that left no room for conversation.

**Me: Neither am I.**

Turning on to her side she placed her cell phone on the night stand and closed her eyes, letting sleep take over.

* * *

**As always, your thoughts and opinions are most appreciated...in review format preferably :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello, it's been awhile I know but here's a semi lengthy update to make up for it. I promise to update again. Soon. Oh and a line break means it's a new scene in case that's confusing. Oh and thanks you soooooooooooo much for the reviews. It's nice to know what you all think of the story.**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Her eyes snapped open as a door closed with force down the hall. The walls are thin here, she noted, turning on to her side as she closed her eyes again hoping to sleep for another hour. The trip with Cook was not long but it was emotionally draining. Everything nowadays seemed to tire her with ease. She didn't have the energy she once had, she didn't care about much either. That's what happens when you fuck up she thought. You realize you're shit and nothing you ever do will be good enough.

She sighed in frustration when her phone started buzzing. She let it go to voicemail, not wanting to speak to anyone this early. She knew she had to register for her courses as well as purchase her textbooks but she also knew it could wait until later; registration deadline was at 5 and the library didn't close until 8, accommodating students with a late night schedule, which is what Naomi had in mind.

When the phone started buzzing again, she sighed in frustration thinking it was probably Cook worrying over her.

"Cook, like I said, I'll be fine. Now could you please fuck off so I can sleep? I promise there are no strange men in my bed." She couldn't help but smirk at her own wit.

There was a silence on the other line and her brow furrowed when it remained that way. She looked at the screen and almost dropped the phone when she read the name on the screen. _Emily_.

She stared at the screen torn between hanging up or clarifying to Emily what she had meant by her comment. She swallowed nervously as she put the phone next to her ear waiting for the redhead to respond.

She sat there for what seemed an eternity waiting for a response from the other end. She didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure why Emily was calling her unless she wanted to yell at her or if she called to stay in this awkward silence that she knew made Naomi uneasy.

"Why did you leave?"

If it hadn't been for Caller ID, Naomi wouldn't have guessed that it was Emily's voice. Her voice usually husky and energetic was small and broken. She felt shame wash over her knowing she was the one who caused her pain. She didn't know what to say. What could she say? "Sorry, just felt like leaving and avoiding you?" No. She couldn't do that. Naomi knew Emily deserved a better answer than she could give.

Her mouth opened and closed several times as her brain tried to process the words. She was struggling with herself. It was always like this with Emily. She could never think properly around the redhead. She hated it.

"Dunno," she shrugged, instantly regretting her words knowing all too well how it made Emily angry.

"You don't know?" the other girl questioned. "You don't fucking know? Are you daft or what?"

Naomi sighed, sitting up on the bed, already anxious for the fight to end. "Emily-"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that. DON'T."

Naomi clenched her jaw biting the inside of her cheek. Great, she thought, now she wants to talk.

"How could you leave without even saying goodbye? Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"Could've fooled me," she muttered.

"What?" Emily shrieked.

"Why do you care? You weren't even speaking to me. So why the fuck Emily would you expect to me to say goodbye when you didn't even want to look at me? Don't pretend to care about me when it's obvious you don't."

She stopped, knowing her emotions were getting the best of her. She didn't want to fight with Emily. She was tired. So sick and tired of arguing and fighting, she was done. That's why she left before Emily returned from her shopping trip with Katie.

"Fuck you. What right do you have to say I don't care when you're the one who cheated!"

And there it was. Naomi knew she would say it. It's what she did whenever she was extremely upset these past few months. It never stopped hurting when she did say it. She knew it was stupid to think that her mistake hurt her more than it did Emily but she never meant for it to happen. Emily was the only girl she had fallen for the way she did. She was perfect in every single way. When Emily was around she felt better. She felt whole. She would never forgive herself for causing Emily the pain she had but she also knew they were stuck and there was nothing she could do about it. She had tried and failed every time.

She cleared her throat, swallowing the lump that had developed. "How could I forget when you remind me every chance you get?" she said with a coldness in her voice. "I tried. I did everything I could to show you how sorry I was. I didn't go out. I didn't do anything but try and be there for you so you could see I meant it when I said I loved you. But you didn't do anything. You ignored me. You couldn't even bare to be in the same room as me."

She heard sniffles but continued. "I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry I ruined us." She wiped the tears as they fell onto her cheeks, sniffling as she prepared to say what she had practiced. "If you don't love me anymore that's okay. I don't deserve it. Or maybe we just need time apart from each other. I don't know Emily but I'm tired and I don't want to argue anymore."

She hung up unable to speak anymore looking at her mobile until the screen turned black. She sighed, wiping the tears from her cheeks, her eyes looking around the furnished flat, across the room towards the empty room that Emily had planned to turn into a dark room for her freelance photography. It was the smallest room in the flat, enough space for a bed and a dresser. Naomi had gone to see the flat on her own, Emily unable to find the free time she needed to accompany her to see the place. They planned how they would decorate each room, what colors they would use to paint… Everything.

The only thing Naomi had ever planned that meticulously had been what courses she would take in college to prepare her for uni. But ever since she had met the redhead she found herself thinking of other things. Emily made her want all the cheesy, sentimental things that romantic comedies presented to the masses: a soul mate, someone she could love for the rest of her life. It both thrilled and scared her to want someone the way she wanted Emily.

She stood up gazing outside her window, it was late morning but it was gray and rainy. She leaned her head against the window pane closing her eyes and letting the cool glass soothe her. She had things to do and worrying about what was wasn't going to help her. She had resigned herself to this possibility. A life without Emily.

* * *

_She heard her before she saw her, the way she spoke about the ignorant clerk behind the register that brought her the wrong book for her course. She found it amusing the way she sat down, throwing the bag she carried on the cafe table mumbling how they were all tossers. She looked up, her hair was bright...of the bottled variety, but it suited her. She noticed the way the girl drummed her fingers on the table, chewing the inside of her cheek as she looked into the distance; the girl was in another world, the way her features softened suddenly, her palm flat against the table. She watched as the girl remained that way for several minutes despite the commotion of students entering and exiting the cafe. She wondered what the girl was thinking of. She wondered if she was alone in the world like she was. An outsider looking in. A stranger. A freak._

_She thought about approaching her, she felt drawn to her for some reason. It went beyond the girl's physique though she didn't have a problem with that. The girl was attractive but there was something else. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on about the girl. She placed the open drawing pad back into her own bag, dropping her mobile in the process. She cursed out loud, pushing herself away from the table, reaching under it to retrieve the phone. She decided she would walk over and ask the girl a random question about the university, pretend to be lost even though she knew her way around campus; she made sure the campus map was engraved in her mind. It always paid to know where all of the exits were situated in case of some kind of emergency. It made the getaway less complicated. If need be, the last thing she wanted to do was run around the university like a headless chook. Slipping away unnoticed was more her style. When she stood up she noticed the girl was no longer sitting. She looked around, walking towards the table where the girl sat before only to find it empty._

_Sighing to herself, she slung the bag over her shoulder and walked towards the bookstore hoping to find out if she could somehow persuade the bookstore attendant to give her the information she sought. She pulled out the 20 dollar note she had stashed inside her pocket earlier that morning. She held it up to the attendant and smiled sweetly._

"_Excuse me Miss, the blonde girl that was just here… She dropped this." She said as she waved the note gently in front of the woman…_

* * *

"What's wrong wif ya Blondie?"

Naomi looked up to see worried blue eyes staring at her. She knew better than to hide anything from Cook, he knew when something wasn't right but she tried to out of habit.

"It's just my coursework," she shrugged.

Cook set down the container of Chinese food on the table, leaning over. "You're clever, that's not it."

Naomi chuckled lightly leaning back in her chair, crossing her arms. "Maybe I'm not as clever as you think I am. I'm all beauty no brains."

He grinned back at her, taking a forkful of noodles and chewed slowly giving her the time she needed to admit whatever it was that was bothering her.

"You're spending too much time with Elizabeth."

"What?" he said with a full mouth, causing Naomi to scrunch her nose in disgust.

"You can't help but study me now. Just like she would."

He smiled knowing what she was referring to. "She's good for me."

Naomi nodded her head, seeing the way his face lit up when he thought about her. The pair were involved during their time at college but neither Cook or Effy, as she was called, were willing to admit their feelings. It wasn't until a bloke at a club made a pass at Effy that Cook took action. He punched the lad and it was only Effy that was able to control him from killing him the way Cook attacked him. From that day forward, they were inseparable. She was glad they had one another. They were the same in a way, but different in her opinion.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

She sighed knowing she couldn't avoid the conversation. She stood and disposed of the empty takeaway cartons before placing her plate in the sink. She turned, her hands behind her on the sink gripping on to them.

"I'm having a tough time Cook."

"Wif?" he asked concerned.

She ran her hands through her hair frustrated. "Do you know how long I lived in a house full of people I didn't know because mum wanted to help anyone she met off the street?"

Cook smiled remembering how free spirited Gina could be. During college, Naomi would always complain about the latest vagabond her mother would bring. With a house full of (literally) strange people, Naomi would more often than not, stay over Cook's to "avoid the craziness" which always ended in an impromptu house party at his place.

"Yeah, 'memba the one who looked like Jesus?"

She grimaced. "How could I not? He slept in my bed while I was still in it!"

They laughed until Naomi became silent again. "I moved in with Emily after that. I've never really lived on my own Cook."

Cook waited patiently while she sorted out her thoughts; pressuring Naomi would get him nowhere.

"I'm not broke but it would be easier if I had someone move in. There's a spare room I could rent out."

"You want a nobody off tha streets livin' in 'ere?"

"I don't know what else to do. I can't pay for everything on my own. I need help."

"You coulda-"

"I'm not asking you for money, you know that."

"Naomi..."

"I'll post an ad on campus. It'll be a student just like me, trying to survive," she tried to assure him.

"I don't like it."

"I know you don't," she smiled softly, knowing how protective he was of her. "But I need to do this. Believe me, I don't want to but I can't afford everything."

He nodded shoving more food into his mouth. "Emily asked about ya." He looked up, noticing the way her body froze, arms crossing in front of her. Nothing further was said regarding Emily or Bristol as she cleaned up the kitchen. They sat together on the couch later in the evening, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulder as she fell asleep, an intimate gesture but Cook knew Naomi needed the comfort. He knew she had a lot on her mind with her studies, the break up and so he hugged to assure her. He shifted to be more comfortable as he grabbed a blanket and covered her with it thinking about what she said and deciding that he would help her out in the only way he knew how to.

* * *

"No Cook...no-wait, just listen yeah? It's all taken care of." She walked up the last flight of stairs slowly, adjusting the strap on her shoulder whilst juggling the coursework she was struggling to shuffle back into place after dropping them two floors ago.

"Yes I'm still eating." Naomi rolled her eyes. "You worry more about me than my mum."

She chuckled softly when Cook laughed out loud. "I'm serious Cook, it's all sorted. I got a couple of phone calls, I've seen a couple of the girls around campus and they're in the same boat I'm in- young and broke."

"So you're tellin' me, two babes will be livin' wif each other, taking showers and-"

"Woah, who said anything about takin' a shower with anyone?" she could practically hear him smirk on the other end.

"Well ya know, coz you like p-"

"Cook!" _I swear, sometimes it's like he's a twelve year old hormonal preteen._

"Chillax babe yeah? I woz just messin' wif ya."

She moved the books from one arm to the other, reaching for the keys in her pocket to unlock the door setting her bag and books on the kitchen table. She turned around to close the door and shrieked when there was someone standing in the doorway. She heard Cook yelling, asking if she was alright. The girl stood outside of the doorway, hands up in a friendly gesture. Naomi took a couple of breaths still reeling from the shock and ran a shaky hand through her hair.

"Sorry," the other girl said nervously.

"Naomi? Who's that? You ok?"

She chuckled into the phone, "I'm fine, hold on a sec."

She kept her distance from the girl, making sure she wasn't dangerous. It was a Saturday night after all and even though she had come out of work, the rest of the campus was partying. The last thing she needed was a drunk tart looking for a fight. "Yes? Can I help you with something?"

She tried to inject venom into her question but realized it probably meant nothing since the other girl just witnessed her scream like a school girl.

"I'm here to see about the spare room, there was an ad on the bulletin board in the rec room and well I heard a couple of girls talking about it and I couldn't let the opportunity pass up and I thought I'd come see the owner right away and I didn't mean to scare you-"

Naomi raised a hand and shook her head, hoping she would stop the excessive speech. " S'okay, not your fault I leave doors open. Um, come in."

She watched as the girl walked in and closed the door gently behind her. She was taller than her and had piercing green eyes, the kind of eyes that made her feel unsettled for some reason. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun but it didn't make her any less pretty. She wore black skinny jeans and a grey v-neck shirt. Naomi wasn't checking her out but she couldn't help but look.

"Are you a student here, um, sorry I don't know your name."

"Naomikins I'm still here," she heard Cook say.

"Shit, sorry. Look, I'll call you back in a bit."

"Is she mint babe?"

"Fuck off," she whispered before ending the phone call. "Sorry," she said to the girl. "Friend of mine likes to check up on me."

"Nothing wrong with that," she grinned. "I wish I had someone who bothered to know how I was."

Naomi noticed the slight Irish accent she had, but it was masked by the loneliness in her voice. "I'm Naomi by the way."

The other girl extended her hand forward, taking a tentative step towards her. "Kelly, pleased to make your acquaintance."

Naomi smirked at her formality and couldn't help but wonder if this girl was her age or older.

"Would you like a tour of the place Kelly?" she smiled softly.

"I'd be delighted."

* * *

Two hours later after countless cups of tea and all the Geribaldi biscuits in her pantry, Naomi felt comfortable with Kelly. They spoke about their uni courses and she found out Kelly would soon transfer into one of her classes after discovering she had signed up for the wrong class. Kelly told Naomi about the current job she held and her plans post graduation. They both discussed their recent relationship problems, Kelly going into more detail than Naomi. She didn't feel like opening up to anyone about Emily still, not even Cook. She knew she wore her heart on her sleeve but to actually voice her pain knowing it was her own fault to her seemed ridiculous.

Kelly was bisexual and Naomi wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. On the one hand, at least she wouldn't have a straight girl getting drunk wanting to "experiment" with her in the middle of the night but she certainly didn't want a roommate to think she was available, not that she was attracted to her. Of course she had looked at her and there was nothing wrong with her, as Cook would say, she was "mint" but that was it. She was just a pretty face. Naomi knew the only girl she could ever love was Emily even if she couldn't be with her.

It wasn't until Kelly's phone started ringing that Naomi realized how late it was.

"Shit, look at the time. That went by quickly."

Kelly looked down at her phone with a frown, silencing the call.

"Everything okay?"

She looked up startled as though she'd forgotten where she was. "Yeah, sorry- that was just the owner of the building I'm in now."

"Oh," she said looking at her not really sure what else to say.

"He sold the building to some investor and all the tenants have moved out except me. I have shitty luck when it comes to finding things," she said sadly, placing the phone in her pocket again.

Naomi chewed the inside of her lip, pensive before getting up, extending a hand to the other girl, helping her up as well. There was something inside of her that made her hesitate, maybe it was Cook's voice repeating all the gory scenes from every horror movie ever made when meeting strangers but she smiled nonetheless, assuring herself that she was just overreacting.

"The room is yours if you want it."

The other girl looked up in shock. "Really?"

She nodded her head amused by the look on Kelly's face. "Rent is due on the first of every month and we can split the rest like groceries or something unless you have any diet requirements."

Kelly threw her arms around the other girl saying thank you over and over again before releasing Naomi from her grip. "You have no idea how grateful I am."

Naomi smiled back at her feeling like she'd done something right. "You're welcome. You can move in when you like. I don't have a spare key right now but you can call me and we'll arrange a time for you to move in. At least until I can go and get a key made for you. "

"Thank you so much Naomi," Kelly smiled. "I'll call you tomorrow then. I can finally get this prick off my back about the flat."

Naomi laughed and followed Kelly to the door, the other girl turning around as she opened it, leaning over to hug the blonde once again. "You're amazing," she said.

Naomi looked elsewhere, the way Kelly looked at her made her nervous for some reason. _Get a grip Naomi._

She heard someone clear their throat, she thought it was Kelly but when she looked towards the door, across the hall, holding a single bag in hand stood Emily, her red hair stuck to her face. She couldn't make out the look on the redhead's face. She couldn't believe she was there! The last conversation they had was weeks ago.

"Emily."

She followed Emily's gaze to where they had sat on the couch and it dawned on her then what it looked like. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and tried to speak but couldn't. She knew she missed Emily but she hadn't realized how much. She wanted to throw herself on her and kiss her but she knew it wouldn't be right. So she stared. She let her eyes roam, she knew she was perving but she couldn't help it. It was always like this when Emily was around. She couldn't think, she'd forget how to breathe—every single cliché under the sun that existed- that's what she felt for Emily. Time hadn't erased that, not even her fuck up had ruined that for her at least.

"Hi," Emily finally said, her brown eyes staring back at Naomi.

She saw movement out of the corner of her eye and suddenly remembered Kelly hadn't left. Never had she wanted to kick someone out quicker in her life.

"Um so call me later yeah?"

She almost slapped herself when Emily raised an eyebrow at her. _Bad start. Bad start._

"For the apartment," she hastily added, hoping Emily wouldn't jump to conclusions.

"Yeah," she heard the other girl draw out the word before leaving slowly, walking past Emily.

It wasn't until Kelly left that Naomi felt slightly less nervous. She could hear the rain outside, girls screaming that their hair was wet and boys howling at the moon like idiots. She heard the clock on the wall tick away as they both just stared at each other. Naomi played with the hem of her shirt nervously, looking at Emily not sure what to say. She wanted to wrap her in her arms and say how happy she was to see her and she was sorry for walking away but she didn't. Fear and pride wouldn't let her.

Emily placed the bag on the floor and walked past Naomi looking around, taking everything in. "It's as nice as they said it would be," she said in that husky tone of hers that Naomi loved.

Naomi nodded before squeaking out a quick "yes," in response.

Emily turned around, her hands inside the pockets of her jean jacket, as she looked at Naomi seriously. "We need to talk Naoms."

* * *

_It was everything she could ever hope for. She almost skipped to her car outside as she felt one step closer to getting what she wanted. Nothing bothered her, not the pouring rain, not the drunk leering frat boys shouting obscenities at her- she didn't have a care in the world. She felt a connection with the blonde. She felt like it could be the start of something. She had lost track of the time talking to Naomi. She hadn't felt that free, that good in such a long time. She knew better than to get attached so soon but there was something... something she couldn't explain. But she felt that all too familiar feeling in her stomach again-excitement, happiness, fear-all rolled into one. She couldn't explain it, there weren't enough words to describe it but it was the start of something new… something electrifying._

_She had to control herself. When she threw her arms around the blonde and inhaled her sweet, scent- vanilla and something else completely intoxicating, it was hypnotic. She wished she could have stayed that way but she let go. She knew her time would come. The redhead that showed up later on threw her off but it didn't seem like Naomi was interested. She seemed uncomfortable and so when she looked up to Naomi's and soon to be hers window and saw from a distance the two of them flailing their arms around looking angry, she knew she had nothing to worry about. Everything would work to her advantage just like it had before. Who knew? Maybe she could even keep Naomi. _

* * *

**As always your thoughts and opinions are much appreciate. Until next time :)**

**x Beck**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Hello again everyone. Sorry for the slight delay in updates but to make up for it, this one in semi longer and chalk full with shall we say a myriad of events. A huge thank you to all of those who are following, reviewing and your PMs regarding this story. It means a lot and I can only encourage you to continue doing so ***hint hint*** Right before I start I just want to personally thank my ghost writer and editor: you are without a doubt an amazing human you for your continued support and feedback. **_Eres la mejor_****.**

Without further ado, I present my latest installment.

**Disclaimer**: Don't read this in public...seriously don't, you might regret it. Part smut, part horror, part "wtf is happening". You've been warned.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Naomi looked around nervously postponing whatever it was Emily wanted to say. She walked into the tiny kitchen area filling a kettle with water and placing it on the stove.

"Tea?" she asked trying not to make eye contact with the redhead.

She heard the clinking of plates being put together and suddenly Emily was standing next to her placing the half drank cups she left earlier in the sink. She didn't turn around, instead she searched in the cupboards for nothing in particular. Anything to give her more time.

"Looking for this?"

Emily held the box of tea in her hand, one perfectly arched eyebrow raised. She cleared her throat and smiled tightly intending on grabbing the box but missing when Emily moved it from her grasp.

"Emily," she said sternly.

"Naomi."

There was something about the way she said her name that bothered the blonde; an unusual calmness that contrasted the nervousness she was feeling.

"Can I have the box please?"

"Why?"

Naomi crossed her arms trying to control her temper. She had no idea why Emily was behaving like that. Did she travel all the way from Bristol just to taunt her?

"I need to make tea."

"I think you had enough tea with that girl you had over."

She dug her nails into her arm knowing what Emily was implying. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Emily pursed her lips, sighing and placing the box near the edge of the sink walking away from the blonde.

"Oh that's real fuckin' nice Emily. Just walk away," she said frustrated. She had no idea what was going on and it made her anxious. Normally she could read Emily so well, she knew her, her body language but now, now she just felt lost.

Emily turned around walking back to her, anger evident in her face. "Remind you of anyone hun?"

The tone in Emily's voice unlike anything she'd ever experience. Her words laced with anger, sorrow and hurt. She bit her lip knowing it was wrong to have left but she didn't know what else to do. She saw the way Emily would tense up whenever she walked into a room she was in. After all, Emily still had her family to turn back to- hell, even her own mother was disappointed when she found out how she had hurt her girlfriend.

"Easy for you to say isn't it Ems? You left me. You would leave for hours with your sister, get pissed and you wouldn't tell me where you were, if you were even okay."

"You never asked me!"

"Fuck you Emily. I tried. When you finally showed up completely off your face and reeking of booze and sweat I was the one who tucked you in and made sure you had a glass of water and an empty bin near you."

Emily's head snapped up, surprised. "That was you?"

Naomi looked confused. "Of course it was me. Who else did you think it was...Katie? She was more fucked up than you were."

"But you never said anything..."she trailed off.

She shrugged, calming down slightly, leaning against the counter top. "And say what exactly?'Hey Ems I held your head while you emptied the contents of your stomach'. Not quite the conversation to have with anyone."

Emily looked up at her, big brown eyes filled with tears. It made her chest ache seeing her like that.

"I thought you didn't care."

Naomi couldn't help but look shocked. "What do you mean I didn't care? Emily, Jesus fucking Christ, I know I fucked up but you're the most important person in my life. I was a mess when you were off your face. I know I did that to you. How could you think that?"

Emily wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks trying to compose herself, her petite frame shaking slightly.

"You never said anything."

"I was afraid to talk. I didn't feel like I had a right to after a while."

"You're my girlfriend of course you have a bloody right to speak to me."

The redhead snapped at her, a cute frown Naomi had always been unable to resist. She looked away fighting the urge she had to kiss away that frown. She whipped her head back up when she realized what Emily had said.

"I'm your girlfriend?" she asked cautiously, not wanting to get her hopes up that Emily had appeared with thoughts of reconciliation.

Emily sighed, chuckling slightly before taking a small step forward her hands moving slowly to take Naomi's. Brown eyes stared into blue for what seemed forever just staring. When she spoke again, her voice was soft, all traces of anger gone.

"Technically, we never broke up," she joked knowing it would calm the blonde.

She chuckled nervously but waited for Emily to answer her question. She knew better than to jump to conclusions but here she was. Her Emily. There hadn't been a single moment that went by in any given day when she didn't think about her; the way she smiled, the way she looked at her and in one look made her feel complete. She loved Emily more than anyone she would ever know. Naomi didn't feel a need to date or sleep with anyone else. Emily was her everything and if she could have another chance to prove it she would...

"Yes."

The redhead's soft, husky voice broker her from her inner monologue.

"Hmm?"

Emily placed the blonde's hands on her hips, moving her own hands up along Naomi's arms until she wrapped them around the back of her neck. Naomi gripped Emily's hips when she felt her play with the hair on the nape of her neck. She felt her breath hitch and judging by the look Emily was giving her she knew she felt the same as she did. She licked her lips staring at her girlfriends. Every molecule in her body was aching to explore her body. Unable to resist any longer after seeing Emily's tongue dart out to wet her own lips, she leaned in slowly not wanting startle her. She knew she was being greedy but she wanted Emily to know how much she needed her, how much she loved her.

She pressed her lips against Emily's moaning softly when the redhead pressed her body close to hers, leaving no space between them. She kissed Emily like her life depended on it, their lips moving in perfect synchronization like it always had been. Naomi felt every nerve in her body stand at attention, her hands roamed and clutched feverishly as their kisses became more passionate. Naomi tried to prolong the kiss but groaned in protest when the Emily pulled away. She held her close still, placing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, her tongue darting out to taste her.

"Naomi, wait," Emily couldn't suppress the gasp that escaped when her girlfriend starting paying attention to the one spot on her neck just below the ear that drove her crazy.

"Mmmm...Naoms."

Her hands pushed Naomi closer keeping her in place as the blonde continued to nip and suck her pulse point. Emily tilted her head back and Naomi's hands ventured south rubbing softly. Emily's eyes snapped open as she pushed Naomi away.

"What the fuck?"

Emily tried to catch her breath, she saw how flushed her girlfriends cheeks were. She shouldn't have let Naomi kiss her so soon but one look into those gorgeous blue eyes and she couldn't resist.

"We can't-I'm sorry. We haven't fixed anything. At least not really and I don't want to jump into the bed with you without fixing us."

Naomi couldn't help but squeeze her thighs together, her head reeling from the intense moment they shared. "You want um..to talk?" she asked, her fingers crossed that Emily would change her mind.

When the redhead noticed, she chuckled and nodded, her own cheeks red from embarrassment. Naomi closed her eyes willing the pain between her thighs to stop-when that didn't work she nodded at Emily and tried to smile reassuringly.

"Yeah, sure talk. We can talk. Can you um give me ten minutes while I shower? You can get comfortable while I do that and then we can...talk," she added slowly.

Emily gave her a quick peck on the cheek and smiled gratefully knowing how her girlfriend was and how difficult she found it to stop once she had started. She grabbed her bag and walked towards Naomi's room.

"I'll change quickly, these clothes are damp."

Naomi burst out laughing at the mistaken double entendre, Emily blushed when she realized what she said was misconstrued.

"Not like that you perve."

* * *

Naomi left Emily that morning in her bed sleeping soundly wearing a t-shirt Emily had kept from their college days, a faded white tee with a pig on it that she refused to let go of. It made her smile knowing that Emily still had it. She stared what seemed like forever at the redhead content to have her back again. They spent the night lying on their sides facing each other talking about what Emily had been up to during their time away. Naomi couldn't help but embrace her tightly when Emily brought up the fear of having lost her. She hugged her tightly, letting her cry as long as she needed to, kissing her temple and rubbing the small of her back, whispering how much she loved her.

She couldn't stop herself from saying it. She was overwhelmingly happy to have her girlfriend back in her arms, words failed to describe what she was feeling. She knew she had a goofy smile on her face because Emily had mentioned it several times. There were quiet moments between the two when they just stared at each other smiling, their hands intertwined between them. It felt like Naomi could breathe again and it was that same way that Naomi woke up, arms and feet tangled with her girlfriends and she hugged her tightly because she could.

So when the alarm went off, she begrudgingly woke up, kissing Emily's forehead softly whispering that she would return after her morning class. The redhead pouted slightly but nodded falling asleep not too long after. She closed the bedroom door behind her gently, grabbing her bag and making sure she had the materials she needed all the while hoping the morning would pass quickly so she could return to Emily.

She gave the small apartment a once over, opening the door and walking out colliding with a strong body that sent her sprawling backwards, falling on her side. She cursed loudly and looked up about to hurl her bag at the offender when she noticed who it was.

"Kelly?"

"Sorry," the brunette said embarrassed. "I was going to knock and see if you were home so I could bring some but then I then I realized it was too early and I am so sorry. Here"

She extended her hand lifting the surprised blonde up. "I'm sorry Naomi."

"S'ok just um," she paused unsure. "I thought you were supposed to call me first."

Green eyes bugged out momentarily, she stuttered unsure of what to say. Naomi looked behind her, making sure she couldn't hear any movement coming from her room.

"Now's not a good time Kelly. I've got a course I need to get to." She turned to face the girl apologetically. "Look call me around noon yeah? If you're still free you can come by and drop your bags or boxes, whatever it is you have." With one last look she closed the door behind her, locking it.

"Yeah course, sorry, I'll ring you then. If I disturbed anything.." she trailed off.

"Nothing. No worries. I'll see you later then."

"Right yeah. See you later then."

She turned to walk away before facing Naomi again. "If you're on your way to the campus, I could give you a ride there if ya like?"

Naomi shook her head. "No, it's okay. I can walk."

"Nonsense, I insist. What kind of roommate would I be if I didn't offer any help?"

Naomi chuckled slightly but declined the offer. "I have a phone call I need to make. The walk will do me good, fresh air and all that. But thank you."

The other girl nodded, juggling her car keys between both hands staring at Naomi before smiling and waving a goodbye. She waited until the other girl had walked down the flight of stairs before leaving, sighing loudly.

"God I hope she's not clingy."

* * *

Emily was all she had on her mind whilst her professor went on about socioeconomic relations with bordering nations. Naomi knew she should be taking notes and she was but the text messages she would receive from her girlfriend made her want to leave the class halfway through it. The apartment was still in a state of "moving in" and the redhead couldn't find anything, so she had no other choice but to message Naomi asking where things were. The blonde found it adorable how she would apologize for interrupting her but it didn't bother her. The sad face emoticons accompanying the messages made her picture Emily's face as she was looking for things.

Of all the things they discussed last night, they hadn't talked about living arrangements. Naomi assumed Emily would move in with her but maybe she was only visiting. She had only brought the one bag with her. She couldn't help but hope that Emily had intentions of staying, even if she did have a roommate moving in the same day. But she didn't have the heart to ask Kelly to move out if Emily did move in. After basically being evicted from her current flat, she didn't want to leave her out on the streets but she didn't want to NOT have Emily with her. They could share the place right? Maybe she won't even stay around much longer, she mused. She's a good looking girl, maybe she'll be out partying most nights and leave the flat to Emily and me.

Whatever was going to happen, Naomi would have to wait until noon time to find out. She had to talk to Emily about how they would work on their relationship. If she had to go to Bristol alternating weekends, then she would do it. She would do anything for Emily. She was going to be the best girlfriend Emily deserved. No more fuck ups.

When the professor dismissed the class early, Naomi piled her belongings into her bag, letting Emily know that she'd be there soon. When her phone vibrated in her hand, she smiled as she looked at the screen thinking the redhead had responded but it was a call from Cook.

"Naomikins!"

"Cook, how are you?"

"Alright babes, so did ya get your present last night?"

It took a moment for it to register before she shook her head, a wide smile in place. "Playing cupid are we now?"

"I couldn't hav' you two muff munchers fightin' now could I? Uncle Cook had to step in since you were bein' stubborn as all fuck."

"I'm not stubborn!" she said indignantly.

He laughed, "I rest my case blondie." He paused momentarily, clearing his throat. "Naomi, you 'old on to 'er this time yeah?"

Naomi smiled gently, walking faster as she came into view of her flat. "I don't ever plan on letting go."

"Good girl."

She hung up after he promised to visit her the following weekend. She was both excited and anxious as she walked up the stairs. She had contemplated asking Emily to stay but she didn't want to put any pressure on her in case she had to return to Bristol. The least she could do though was make it known that she could stay if she wanted to. She would say at least that much. She wanted Emily to know that she didn't want to be without her. Naomi wanted to wake up to her every day and hold her and kiss her. She would do anything Emily asked her to.

She climbed three flights of stairs eagerly, she didn't know how she survived a month without Emily and yet all that morning the petite redhead was all she could think of, thoughts of midterm exams and chapter summaries were far from her mind as she smiled warmly knowing Emily would be waiting for her. In the past, Naomi would have run far from her girlfriend at the thought of being so needy. It hadn't been something she was accustomed to, wanting someone in your life as much as she wanted Emily. No one else could ever compare to the way she made Naomi feel; happy, vibrant…alive. Whenever Emily walked into a room she felt her heart skip a beat and when her girlfriend looked at her with those eyes, eyes that expressed so much warmth and love…she felt it, that overwhelming feeling of completion and happiness that only poets and song writers go on about. Emily was her everything, her past, present and future. And she was going to show that to her.

Somewhere in the back of Naomi's mind, she recalled Emily's words from the night before asking for time before they were…physical with their feelings. She opened the doorknob and saw Emily standing in the kitchen in nothing but a shape fitting top and boyshorts. There was music playing from the radio in the living room, Naomi took advantage of the fact that Emily hadn't heard her come in. She dropped her bag by the door softly and tip toed silently behind the red head.

It took every bit of resolve in her not to take the redhead then and there. Naomi had missed touching her in the way that only she was allowed to. She bit her lip, smiling when she noticed Emily's attention was on a brochure she had in her hand. Ever so slowly, her hands hovered over Emily's hips as she leaned in with the intention of whispering in her ear.

She startled the red head who in turn elbowed her, shrieking loudly lifting a fist as she turned to face the blonde.

"Emily wait! Fuck, it's me."

"Jesus fucking Christ Naomi."

It wasn't until Emily lowered her fist that Naomi, put down her own hands which she had placed protectively over her face. Emily might be smaller than she was but being raised by a personal trainer had its benefits and the redhead had benefited from it.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to surprise you."

Emily had her hand placed on her chest, trying to catch her breath.

"Surprise…." she said meekly. "I'm sorry."

She placed her hands on Emily's hips looking at her apologetically, relaxing a bit when Emily rolled her eyes at her, her own hands wrapping themselves around the blonde's neck. They stood like that, smiling softly at each other until Naomi broke the contact when Emily's tongue darted out enticingly. She stared at soft, red lips licking her own quickly as she looked into dark eyes hooded with lust. That's all it took between them. One looks, one small action and there was instant electricity.

Naomi didn't hesitate any longer, kissing Emily passionately, her hands digging into her girlfriend's hips when she felt Emily's tongue dip into her mouth. She caressed it with her own, her arms now wrapped around the redheads waist leaving no space between them as they continued to kiss heatedly. The way Emily was tugging her hair, pressing her body against Naomi's was leaving the blonde breathless. Unwillingly, she stopped kissing Emily, struggling to catch her breath, their bodies still pressed against each other.

"Someone's happy to see me," Emily joked, her voice full of desire. She didn't want to the blonde to stop.

Naomi chuckled, one hand moving across Emily's stomach underneath her top. She was about to venture further below wanting nothing more than to show Emily how much she had missed her when a knock interrupted her plans. She looked at Emily with begging eyes, asking her to ignore the knocking and continue doing what she wanted to do which was much better than answering the door to some wanker.

"It's probably no one. Stay quiet."

Emily chuckled. She knew where the blonde wanted to take them but she wasn't sure if she should. She knew she forgave Naomi for her mistake but there was a small part of her that couldn't seem to shut up and made her react the way she did. Any other day, Emily would have pushed Naomi's hand down but she needed some space before they got to that point.

"They'll never leave," Emily warned her.

"Not if someone says that," Naomi says pointedly.

"Naomi! Where are your manners? You can't just leave whoever it is out there."

The blonde sighed grudgingly, placing a quick kiss on Emily. "Fine, but whoever it is, he or she is a wanker."

Emily slapped the blonde's arm playfully pushing her towards the door. After some grumbling, Naomi opened the door to find a shy looking Kelly on the other side.

"Hey Naomi, I called you outside but you ended up walking faster," she chuckled nervously. "Almost like you wanted to avoid me."

Naomi's eyes bugged wide open, had she really been that in her head that she hadn't heard her?

"I never heard anyone call me, I'm sorry."

Kelly just shook her head, dismissing it with the wave of her hand. "No worries. Look I hate to bug you about it, I know I was supposed to call but my landlord is a real dick and he wants me out by tonight. All my belongings are in my car, can I bring them in?"

Her first thought was to say _"no get lost, Emily and I were going to-"_

"Of course you can."

Naomi whipped her head around, Emily had somehow left and covered up, opting for a pair of black track pants that the blonde instantly hated.

The redhead arched an eyebrow when Naomi failed to say anything to her roommate.

"We'll help," Emily added as an afterthought.

It took every ounce of control in her to not tell Kelly to fuck off. She had nothing against the girl but she had horrible timing.

"Oh I can't let you do that. I can bring my own stuff but thank you-"

"Nonsense. We insist."

Naomi turned her look back to Kelly's, green eyes looking at her intensely, studying her.

She forced a smile onto her face, nodding slowly. _Yes because lugging around baggage and boxes is exactly what I had in mind. _

Kelly agreed, thanking them both profusely as they began their decent, Naomi once again squeezing her thighs muttering how unfair the universe was.

* * *

One hour later, all the boxes had been placed in the second room, with Kelly saying she left something at her old place and needed to get it before it was trashed. Naomi gave her the spare key she had for her and said her goodnights in advanced.

"Going to sleep?"

"Yeah I'm wrecked and I have an early class tomorrow morning. If you have any questions we can talk about it tomorrow when I'm not half asleep, okay?"

Kelly nodded and said her goodnights. Naomi walked to her room and threw herself on her bed, her back connecting with the soft mattress and she couldn't help but groan softly as she settled in, closing her eyes and sighing contentedly.

"Bed satisfying you Naoms?"

Naomi looked at Emily through one peaked eye, smirking at her. "Mmhmm."

She felt the bed dip, her eyes snapping open as she felt Emily crawl from the edge of the bed, her body half lying on her own, her arms holding her up. Naomi's hands went to her hips automatically pulling her closer against her. Emily's hair was loose, her fringe covering her eyes slighty. She leaned up just as Emily leaned down, their lips connecting in a soft but passionate kiss. Emily placed kisses along her jaw traveling down across Naomi's neck and back up again to the spot just below the blonde's ear. Her tongue darted as she starting kissing her there, sucking softly after biting the skin.

"I think I can satisfy you better than the bed."

Clothes were ripped off by excited hands, in fact Naomi was certain Emily's wardrobe had taken the worst hit and she made note to purchase something to make it up to the redhead. But now her focus was all Emily's. Her hands roamed along her girlfriend's body, nails digging into soft skin. After her clothes had been discarded, she had promptly flipped Emily onto her back, enjoying the feeling of having her under her. She kissed her frantically, when she rid her of her clothes, one hand moving along her side down to her thigh. She broke the kiss and groaned when she felt how excited Emily was.

"Spread your thighs," she instructed.

Emily complied, pulling Naomi back down for another searing kiss. Every nerve on her body stood alive, electric as she pressed her front against the redheads. She rocked her hips back and forth onto her, making sure she pressed against Emily right where she needed it. She felt nails dig into her back as she grinded harder, leaning down to capture those lips again.

When she felt Emily was getting too worked up, she slowed it down slightly, one hand moving back up between Emily's thighs. She pushed two fingers in using her hips to thrust as far as she could. Judging by the sounds coming from the redhead, she was enjoying every second it. She kept the pace slow but firm, her body sliding up and down against Emily's. She looked straight into Emily's eyes getting lost in her. Excitement took over as she picked up the pace, curling her fingers as she rocked faster against her girlfriend, legs wrapped around her waist kept her in place as if she would want to be anywhere else. She looked at Emily lovingly, every cell in her being aching to make her feel amazing.

When Emily's moans grew louder and more frequent, she leaned down kissing her neck, her own breathing out of control seeing her girlfriend in this state. She felt her own excitement grow, the ache between her thighs a reminder that it was only Emily that could make her feel this _alive_.

She thrusted faster and harder, Emily holding onto her, their bodies moving as one. She felt muscles begin to clench around her and as she took her over the edge, she whispered "I love you" over and over again as nails dug into her. She brought her back down slowly, lifting her head, looking at her girlfriend adoringly and smiling, she would never get enough.

* * *

It wasn't until hours after they were completely spent, Emily nestled safely in Naomi's arms that both girls finally felt at home, peaceful. Naomi loved everything about her, the way she spoke, the way she laughed and especially now, she loved how Emily would wrap one arm around her waist, her face buried in the crook of her neck. She placed her other arm around Emily keeping her closer still. She sighed contently pressing her lips to Emily's temple, smiling softly when she felt Emily do the same on her neck.

"I love you," she whispered, the room now dark but she could still make out the shape of Emily's body lying next to her, feeling no shame in repeating those words again and again.

"I know," Emily responded softly, her voice still husky.

"Oi cheeky."

She poked Emily's side playfully as small hands tried to push her away. She let Emily climb on top of her, both of them bursting into laughter when the redhead tried to glare at the blonde. She let her hands trail slowly up Emily's face, her thumbs caressing her cheeks. She smiled and leaned up kissing her girlfriend softly, her lips pressing firmly against Emily's. She held her in place, her tongue darting out to nip her bottom lip. They both moaned when Naomi deepened the kiss, their bodies pressed close to each other. Reluctantly, Naomi broke the kiss needing air. She brought her hands down to Emily's hips.

"I want you Emily. Please stay with me."

She wasn't going to hide anything. She would leave no doubt in her mind-this is where Emily belonged.

"I know I fucked up and if you need time then I'll give you that but please, I don't want to be without you."

There was silence as Naomi waited nervously for a response from her.

"Naomi I-"

"You can move here if you want or if you have to go back to Bristol, then I understand-"

"Naoms-"

"But just give us a chance-"

"Will you shut the fuck up?!"

She stopped abruptly startled by her reaction. _Oh fuck sake, I fucked it up now._

"Naomi I have a job.."

She felt disappointment course through her body. Of course she did. She couldn't expect Emily to drop everything for her.

"..with the university. Doesn't pay much but I would be an apprentice to a photographer who volunteers as a Professor. I can build a portfolio in the meanwhile though, take extra classes on the side even."

"Huh?"

Emily stopped and grinned at the confused blonde. "You haven't heard a word I said, have you?"

"Um…you have a job?"

"Here at the university," she nodded.

It took a moment for Naomi to process what she said.

"Here? You're working here? So you can live here? You're going to stay?"

Emily nodded her head chuckling at the excitement radiating from the girl beneath her. "Yes."

One word was all it took. She took Emily's lips with her own immediately, pouring every emotion that she could. She had Emily again. She kissed her passionately, deepening the kiss just as Emily pressed a hand against her aching center. She bit her bottom lip, Emily gasping as she started to feel Naomi grow more excited. She kissed her jaw, moving lower along her body, Naomi's hands tangling in soft hair as she slowly flicked and sucked.

* * *

The morning sun streaked in shining brightly on Naomi's face. She turned away from it, aware of the small body wrapped around her. She noticed the bedroom door slightly open and she frowned. _I thought Emily closed the door?_ Rather than interrupt the redheads slumber, she threw one of her pillows as hard as she could, the door closing with a soft click, leaving Naomi to enjoy the warmth of Emily's body.

* * *

_Fucking fuck shit cunt. Stupid moronic idiot. That's what happened when she underestimated people. She felt the anger build up in her, the anxiety-she was losing it quickly. She needed to keep herself grounded. She looked around the room wildly, crawling on her hands and knees when the light shone on what she sought. It was a small blade, the type used for box cutters. She pulled down her jeans sitting on the edge of the bed._

_The blade was cold and small in her hand. She breathed in deeply when she brought it to her thigh. She dragged the sharp metal slowly, making small cuts. She didn't need to stab or make herself bleed out; she only needed enough pain to make her forget. _

_She cut three lines intersecting one another, repeating the process again just above her knee. She watched as the blood seeped out, making the cuts look red with anger. She wiped the blade on her jeans making a note to wash them soon, along with the other blood stained clothes. _

_**Get rid of them.**_

_She had to figure out a solution fast before they discovered her. She didn't think anyone had seen her, the girl was walking along the road on her own._

_**Stupid bitch.**_

_The blonde hair had made her stop, hoping it was Naomi-she was disappointed. But she stopped nonetheless and offered the girl a ride which was near the campus. Somewhere between the girl getting in the car and before she lost control, she had foolishly accepted a flask the girl had offered. Then again, the girl was equally as foolish for getting in the car to begin with. She drank the liquid eagerly, the whiskey burning her throat. She had stupidly told the girl about her past. She needed someone to hear her, to focus on her and her alone. The girl had waited until she stopped at an intersection before bolting. _

_She didn't hesitate and followed the girl. She needed to silence her. They weren't too far away from the main road and even though it was late, she didn't want to risk it. She slammed the car into the girl, knocking her over. The girl screamed out in agony. She flicked the lights off, moving the car so that any oncoming traffic would see the vehicle and not them. _

_The girl was crying hysterically, screaming for help. She kicked the girl in the head silently congratulating herself for wearing boots that night. She grabbed her cellphone from her pocket, needing the light to see. She smiled when she saw what she needed. The stone was just big enough. She ran quickly, her eyes darting around, making sure no one was in sight. She kneeled on the ground just as the girl opened her eyes, groaning from the pain. She leaned down whispering, one hand patting the girl's back._

"_Lovely night for a walk isn't it?"_

_She raised the stone above her head, putting her body into it as she slammed the stone into her skull, hearing the loud __**CRACK**__ spurred her on. She didn't stop until she connected with the brain, blood and skull fragments hitting her face,drenching her top. She noticed the way the blood ran from the girls head; how it didn't continue to spray like she thought it would. It gushed out of the hole she had made in the blonde's skull almost as if a tap had been turned on, flowing out like a small stream running off to the side of the road and into a nearby gutter. She had left the body where it was, throwing the stone behind the large tree, covering it with dirt and brush._

_She walked up to the full length mirror looking at the marks on her thighs. When she'd walked back into the flat, she heard them straight away, __watcheing them from a crack in the door how they explored each other, touches eager and desperate. She wondered if it was the same girl, the redhead. It was the only girl she had seen Naomi with. The way she held onto the girl, her fingers running through her hair, the way the other girl clung on to her hips...it made her sick but the sight of the blonde….her Naomi, in that state was magical. She wanted to be between those thighs licking and sucking on her clit, tasting every inch of the blonde. She wanted her. She **needed** her. It was consuming her every thought._

_She dragged her fingers along the cuts, the lines forming an "N". She smiled softly and turned her back around, laying down on her bed, staring at the ceiling._

"_Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you…I'll make you mine Naomi, just wait," she whispered to the closed door, the sounds of muffled giggling and whispers surrounding her._

* * *

**A/N: Isn't that just creepy?...tell me in a review. I DARE you! :P**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**A/N: Two updates in a month, woo go me! Thank you for all the reviews, they continue to motivate me and to the lovely lady in my life, I am a bit of a turtle aren't I? **

**DISCLAIMER: It's fucked up people. I'm not kidding you.**

* * *

Her eyelids fluttered open upon feeling the warmth of the sun on her face. She had no idea what time it was, what day it was, but she didn't care. Not when there was a warm body pressed against her, a small nose breathing softly on her neck. This was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life, just as they were right now; calm and in love. Of course Naomi knew life would get in the way sometimes, she of all people knew that, she was practical after all. But she could care less about what problems she might face in the future. She knew, as long as she had Emily, she could do anything.

So when the body beside her started to wake, arms squeezing around the blonde's waist tighter, a light kiss pressed into her neck, Naomi kissed her back, looking down into brown, adoring eyes and felt her heart skip a beat.

"Good morning," she whispered softly, absolutely in love.

"Morning."

Emily yawned, her back arching slightly before she turned onto her back, her eyes closing again of their own accord.

"Emily?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?" she asked timidly. She had the sudden need to make sure Emily didn't regret last night.

She turned her head to face Naomi, a confused look on her face. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She turned onto her side, her arm draped lazily across the blonde's stomach. Naomi took Emily's hand with her own, interlacing their fingers together, staring at them whilst she spoke.

"Last night...I know you wanted to wait and I wasn't thinking at the time because you're very good at kissing," she chuckled, looking up into warm eyes quickly.

Emily squeezed her hand, moving closer to Naomi, staring into nervous blue eyes. "I didn't do anything I didn't want to if that's what you mean."

There was a moment's hesitation from the blonde and Emily sat back up slightly shocked. "Naomi? That's not what you think is it?"

When there was no reply, she brought Naomi's hand to her back as she laid half of her body on top of the blonde's.

"Look at me," she said softly but firmly. She waited until Naomi did so before continuing. "I love you Naoms and I've missed you so fucking much. I know I said I wanted time but I was still holding on to my fears. I was afraid of giving in to you so quickly after spending so much time apart. I thought," she paused trying to clear the thoughts in her head, "I didn't want to rush anything with you. I want us to be _us_ again and not wonder why we're together weeks from now."

"Emily I can wait if that's what you want-"

"NO," she interrupted abruptly, startling the blonde. "We've wasted too much time already. I don't want to spend another day without you let alone a month. We'll work out what we need to as time goes on, okay?"

Naomi nodded, a smile spreading slowly across her face, relief coursing through her body. They had things they had to work on, every relationship did but they would do so together.

* * *

"I'll see you tonight Naoms."

She kissed Emily goodbye, waiting by the door as she saw her walk out, a goofy smile plastered onto her face. They had agreed to meet each other at a small restaurant down the street from where Emily would be working that afternoon whilst Naomi worked on her coursework. It had been much later then they both thought and of course a repeat of last night after their talk had made the redhead late to her meeting with the professor to which Emily joked that Naomi would be the bread winner if she lost the job. Naomi would do that and much more if she had to.

She sat back down at the small table in the kitchen, her textbooks sprawled across the cluttered surface. She had a paper she had to write for her economics class and a questionnaire she had yet to fill out for another requirement course she didn't understand in the first place. "Strategies for Success" wasn't a course she would have chosen to take for her degree and yet the university made it a requirement. She grabbed a notebook and a pen from her bag, leaning against the chair.

"Right," she sighed. "Any topic as long as it relates to Economics."

She scratched her head tapping her pen against the notebook repeatedly struggling to come up with a decent subject that would span across the ten, single spaced pages she needed to fill. Writing had never been hard for her, she had plenty of essays she kept from her college days at her mother's to prove it. She could ramble on and on about equal rights and feminism in different parts of the world and yet here she was, baffled and at a loss for words. Literally.

It seemed like it was hours later when she heard the doorknob turn. For a moment she thought it was Emily until she remembered she had to meet her girlfriend at the restaurant. She reached for her mobile in her pocket, turning the screen on.

**5:00**

She groaned in frustration, throwing her head back annoyed. She had another hour before she could see Emily.

"Bad day?"

Her head snapped up.

Green eyes looked at her amused.

"My day was fine until my coursework caught up with me." She sighed frustrated.

"I can relate," Kelly closed the door behind her, dropping her bag into her room before returning to the kitchen. "Maybe a cuppa would help?"

Naomi nodded, mumbling her thanks as she focused on the blank pages before her.

"It might help if you write your ideas down."

"That's why my notebook is open," she snapped before apologizing. "Sorry, I'm not used to not having anything to say. Emily says I suffer from 'never shut my mouth-ism'."

"Is that the girl who was here last night?"

"Yeah, that's Emily," she confirmed, getting up as Kelly set her cup of tea on the bench. "Speaking of which um, I know it's last minute and a bit out of the blue but she and I are a thing. No not a thing, she's my girlfriend and I, well she's moving in with me after we had a break.."

"A break? You guys needed a break?"

"Something like that," Naomi paused, unsure. "I was a shitty girlfriend, I hurt Emily and long story short I moved here without her and we were both miserable..but we're not now."

Kelly looked at her oddly, taking a sip of her tea. "Cream or milk?"

"Hmm?"

"I forgot to ask you how you take your tea," she gestured to the cup in Naomi's hands.

"Sugar and milk."

Kelly turned around, walking towards the refrigerator before stopping. "Naomi? What say you to a drink? Maybe it'll help with your paper? What do you say? It'll give us time to get to know each other better," she smiled at the blonde. "My shout."

Naomi hesitated for a second remembering her date with Emily. "Just a drink yeah? I have to meet Emily for dinner."

Kelly crossed her heart and nodded quickly. "Cross my heart, you won't be late. Grab your notebook and pen. I know just the place."

* * *

The bar Kelly brought Naomi to was small, quiet and out of the way. It was surprisingly close to the university but it wasn't packed with students which seemed a bit peculiar to the blonde but she shrugged it off. The last thing she needed was drunk frat boys trying it on with her. So when Kelly offered to get the first round while she picked out a table, she chose a booth towards the back, away from any possible crowd that would materialize out of nowhere. She removed her jacket, taking a quick look at her phone to find a text message from Emily.

**Emily: Running a bit late at the studio Naoms, who knew models were so demanding :-P I'll meet you for dinner at 7.**

Naomi smiled as she quickly replied back that she had left for a drink with Kelly after coming up with nothing for her essay.

**Emily: :( sorry to hear that hun. Why don't we skip dinner and work on your paper tonight? We can grab take out instead.**

Naomi contemplated it for a minute. Emily had been the only person she read her papers out loud to when they went to college, she was the only one she felt comfortable enough to do it with. She agreed to Emily's idea, telling her to meet her at the bar, giving her directions on how to get there.

Kelly came back with a tray carrying several drinks of different colors much to Naomi's dismay. She felt her eyes pop out of their head as she watched her roommate settle down, dividing the drinks amongst them both.

"I thought you said one?"

Kelly chuckled, raising one of the shot glasses with a liquid that appeared to be tequila. "You don't have to drink more than one if you don't want to. I figured, we're roomies and it'd be nice to get to know one another."

She smiled at Naomi, her arm still raised with the drink in hand. They were going to live together, Naomi mused. She hadn't had much time to speak to Kelly since that night and she didn't want to be a complete stranger. She reassured herself, promising to eat three courses at dinner with Emily and avoid a hangover the following day. She reached for the amber colored shot glass, sniffing the contents and wincing from the strong smell of whiskey.

"Jack Daniels?"

Kelly nodded her head, "the one and only."

Raising the glass to her lips, she started to tip her head back before Kelly interrupted, placing her own hand on Naomi's.

"I'd like to make a toast."

Naomi cleared her throat, retracting her hand as politely as she could, Kelly had gripped on a bit too tightly. Her smile faltered, when green eyes looked down at her fist and back up again.

"To new beginnings and a promising future."

Tipping her head back, she slammed the glass back down when she felt the all too familiar burning move down her throat. "Fuck that's strong."

When she opened her eyes, Kelly had already downed the second shot glass and was reaching for the frosted glass of beer.

"You drink like a fish."

Kelly burst out laughing in mid drink, spraying liquid all over Naomi's face and clothes. "Shit Naomi, I'm so sorry."

Naomi wiped the beer from her face with the sleeve of her jumper and stared down at the rest of her clothes. "I didn't realize I was so funny," she chuckled, slightly grossed out to have someone else's drink on her.

She looked around the table for napkins before Kelly realized what she was looking for. "There's a loo down that corridor if you want to wipe it off. Gosh I'm really sorry Naoms."

Naomi paused while standing up when she heard the nickname she loved so much coming from the wrong person. She wondered when she had heard it but walked away, saying she'd be back. Kelly apologized again to her once more before she left.

She stared into the mirror and grimaced at the beer stains on her jumper. _C__ook would be proud_. She smirked, turning the tap on and grabbing a handful of paper towels wiping the stains as best she could, unsuspecting of the girl outside, deleting her text messages.

* * *

"And then she said," she paused taking a breath full of air, 'Cook, could you be a cunt over there?'"

Both girls burst out laughing, the alcohol taking its course leaving them both light headed and drunkenly happy. After Naomi exited the bathroom, Kelly insisted on making it up to Naomi for spilling her drink. Naomi accepted after Kelly continued to ask and before she realized it, one drink had turned into three and now the room was suddenly spinning more than she would have like it to.

She slouched back against the booth, her eyes closing, trying to control the dizzy feeling she felt. "I think that's it for now," her speech slightly slurred. "I 'ave no idea why I feel drunk this…it takes more for me to feel this floozy…no woozy. I meant woozy."

Kelly chuckled as Naomi started to search through her pockets.

"Where's my blasted mobile…"

"What's wrong?"

Naomi searched amongst the discarded mugs and glasses for her phone. She was sure she had brought it with her to the pub.

"I've lost my cell phone. I was supposed to meet Emily for dinner…I think she was supposed to meet me here…and this fucking room won't stop fucking spinning."

"You can borrow my cell phone here," she reached for her own mobile passing it to Naomi.

The blonde smiled gratefully as her fingers hovered over the screen. She was trying to think of Emily' phone number, it shouldn't be this hard; she knew it by heart. And yet her mind was a blank. She felt too warm and clustered at the bar. All she wanted to do was leave. She passed back the phone thanking Kelly.

"I can't 'member shit. I need to get back to the flat. Emily will be worried about me."

Kelly stared at her as she stumbled rising, falling back into her seat when her legs gave in. She rushed out of her seat making sure Naomi was unharmed. "Stay right here, I'll pay the tab and we can leave, okay?"

When Kelly returned, she had to shake Naomi awake, scaring the blonde in the process.

"Sorry but you fell asleep."

"I dunno whats wrong..I'm not this lightweight…" she slurred as she fell back asleep, her body tipping forward slightly into the arms of a surprised brunette.

Kelly shook her again hoping to wake her up. When Naomi failed to respond she smiled softly, wrapping one arm around the blonde's waist and the other one around her neck for support. She kissed the blonde's forehead and frowned when Naomi sighed, whispering "Emily" softly. Her hand squeezed Naomi's hips as she walked them out into the cool, night air.

"She won't be a problem soon enough my love."

* * *

Every sound seemed twice as louder than normal, even with the pillow and covers over her head, she felt like there were hundreds of little drillers in her head wreaking havoc. She had no idea where she was or what time it was. She was drifting towards blissful sleep when the bedroom door slammed shut. She couldn't contain her anger and growled loudly in frustration.

"Glad to see you're awake," she heard a husky voice tease her. "I thought you'd be out for days judging by the state you were in."

Naomi grunted from beneath her covers patting the space next to her so Emily would join her.

"I don't know what happened," she said meekly, her mouth suddenly dry and gross. "Too much drinking I guess."

"You did more than that Naomi. What did you take? You know when you mix alcohol and MDMA you-"

Her head shot out from under the pillow, rubbing her temple when the pain intensified.

"MDMA? I never took any drugs."

Emily stared at her incredulously. "I think I've seen you plenty of times when you're off your face Naoms. You were well out of it last night."

Naomi stared at her confused, trying to remember the night in vain. She could've sworn it was just the drinks that made her tipsy. She didn't recall taking drugs…what the hell was going on around here?

"Are you sure?" she questioned further.

Emily laid down, running her fingers through soft, blonde hair. "I haven't seen you that wasted since…the last time but yes your pupils were dilated and you could barely speak let alone walk. Kelly had to carry you the entire way back home."

She leaned in to Emily's soft touches, it amazed her how one person could make all her pain and worries disappear. She sighed gratefully but her mind wandered to last night. She couldn't remember taking any drugs. In fact the last thing she remembered was going to the bathroom...no she was sitting…she sat up suddenly.

"Naomi, what's wrong?"

She stared off into space, trying to recollect the events from last night. She tried to think back before the bar, she knew she had gone to a bar. Kelly was there.

"Naoms you're worrying me."

The soft hand on her shoulder snapped her from her thoughts. "Emily I can't remember anything from last night."

"That would explain why you stood me up," the redhead chuckled.

"What?" she turned perplexed. "I don't-"

"We were supposed to meet for dinner hun. What the hell did you take last night anyways?"

"I dunno."

She removed the covers from her body, looking down. Confused. "I'm naked."

She looked up to see dark eyes running up and down her body. "Emily, I'm naked."

The redhead smiled at her, a look in her eyes, "yeah well, couldn't let the entire night be a waste."

Naomi feigned indecency, looking for a top to cover herself. "You took advantage of me?"

Emily threw her head back in laughter, walking towards their dresser, throwing a pair of jeans from the closet and a vintage rock shirt that Naomi wore to be around the house. "In your dreams Naomi darling. No, I thought you'd be more comfortable that way. You felt sweaty so I grabbed a cloth-"

"You gave me a sponge bath Nurse Emily?" she wiggled her eyebrows as she climbed into her jeans. "My, my, weren't we the adventurer last night?"

"No hun," she said stepping closer to her girlfriend. "That would've been you with your antics last night."

She placed her hands gently on Emily's hips, looking serious suddenly. "I didn't mean to stand you up Emily I swear. I don't know what happened last night. I'm sorry."

She stood up on her toes, kissing her girlfriend's lips softly. "You'll have to make it up to me later."

"Anything you say Nurse Emily."

She giggled and Naomi relaxed slightly, there was still a problem she had to deal with.

"Is Kelly here?"

"She's in the kitchen, why?"

"I have to ask her about last night. Do you have to leave to work soon Ems?"

She shook her head following Naomi as she walked out of their room. "Day off today but I do have a workshop in the afternoon on campus. I could walk you to your class."

Naomi reached for Emily's hand, interlocking their fingers as she gave it a light squeeze, smiling at Emily. "I'd like that."

She held onto her hands as she walked into the kitchen, Kelly sat at the table, eating breakfast. She looked up, staring at their hands taking a huge bite of toast before chugging the rest of the contents in her mug. She wiped her mouth with a napkin smirking as she swallowed loudly.

"Mornin' nice to see you both so happy. I was worried I would cause problems after last night."

"Huh?" Naomi asked confused.

Emily kissed the blonde's cheek, before she walked towards the kitchen. "Kelly and I were talking this morning. She apologized profusely for stealing you last night-"

"I'm really sorry about that Naomi."

"But," Emily continued, "you disappeared to the loo and when you came back you were well off your face. You passed out at the bar. Kelly had to carry you out to her car and up those flights of stairs."

She looked at Naomi while she beat eggs into a bowl. "Did you take something in the loo? Was it Uncle Keith's special blend? I've told you not to take that from Cook Naoms."

Naomi sat down across from Kelly, looking between Emily and her roommate, absolutely confused. "I don't know what the fuck is going on. I've walked into another dimension or something."

"You really don't remember anything from last night?"

Naomi looked up, green eyes staring back concerned. "No I fucking don't."

"Naomi!"

"It's okay," Kelly shrugged the response. "It's frustrating when you can't remember something. I've blacked out before. I know the feeling. If it helps Naomi, you were gone awhile. You came back, drank the rest of the shots and then we ordered more drinks, you said Emily would meet you there so I said we should stop but you didn't want to. I guess you were more stressed out than you said."

"Stressed out?" Emily and Naomi asked in unison.

Kelly looked at the both of them unsure of whether she should continue to speak. "Yeah, you kept saying something about not fucking up and last chance or something. I thought you were worried about your assignment."

Naomi stared at Kelly blankly. She didn't remember a single word of what Kelly was saying. She didn't take any drugs, no, the last time Cook was here she hadn't taken anything and he hadn't left her with anything but a couple of spliffs. No she couldn't have taken any drugs, it wasn't possible. She didn't have any to begin with! She tried to retrace her steps in her head but the massive wall blocking her memory was annoying. If she had taken drugs it would explain why she passed out so quickly, she had low tolerance for alcohol AND drugs, she couldn't mix the two. She felt her fists clench tightly on the table.

"Naoms?"

She chewed her bottom lip as she stared ahead. There was something wrong here. Something off. But with no memory she had no idea of what it could be.

"Here," a plate was set in front of her with a scrambled eggs, bacon, tomatoes and toast. She looked up smiling thinking Emily was in front of her, about to lean in and place a kiss on foreign lips.

She sat back looking around for Emily and hearing her voice from somewhere in their room.

"She said something about her sister being enough of a problem?" Kelly offered to which Naomi nodded mutely.

The other girl walked away after smiling at her and it was then that Naomi had a flashback of strong hands holding her up, hands that roamed and groped, a voice whispering 'she wouldn't be a problem soon enough'. She felt sick as she lurched forward spilling what contents she had in her stomach from last night. Was it real? Had Kelly threatened Emily?

* * *

_She couldn't help but grin as she threw herself onto her bed. It had worked! Her first try at a new drug and it worked. It gave Naomi all the side effects she hoped for. Her plan would soon fall into play. She had hoped Naomi would agree to go out with her, after all, being alone with her was all she could hope for. She had to control her urges then and there. She wanted to leave with the blonde but Emily knew where they both were and so did the bar attendant. She didn't need any loose ends._

_No…when she could take Naomi all for her own- THAT'S when she would put the rest of her plan to life. She had a slight obstacle now that Emily was a permanent fixture in their life but nothing she couldn't handle. Throw in a little scene and all would go her way very soon. She just needed to be patient. She had to choose her moments wisely. Most importantly she had to eliminate any chance of being caught. She had been reckless with the other girl and she had to act soon in case she left anything incriminating behind. No, she knew she was running on borrowed time and she needed to act fast but wisely. Things would go her way, she just needed to plan out the details. The redhead would have to go. Just a matter of how._

_She felt an ache between her thighs as she thought of Naomi. She searched for her mobile, going through the gallery section, the photos she had taken of the blonde passed out in the back seat. She shoved her hand down the front of her pants as she stared at the screen. She felt alive, she had to bite her lip so as to keep quiet, she kept going faster and faster suppressing the moan that threatened to sneak out as she shook violently, staring at the blonde's body on her phone. She whispered the blonde's name as she fell back on the bed._

_Fuck you Emily, she's mine._

* * *

**If you don't review Kelly will haunt your dreams. No one wants to wake up to that vision of horror right? No exactly. On with the review then :P**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello again. It's nice when I update promptly isn't it? Thank you to everyone that has reviewed or PM'd me, it continues to make me smile that you are all as disturbed as I am...it's not easy writing this. I am just as freaked out as you all are. Believe me. Oh and before I forget, to the lady that continues to be my inspiration, thank you for motivating me when I need it most. **

**Disclaimer: I tried not to make it so disgusting or creepy...but this story has a life of it's own. My apologies.**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

There is always that moment at one point when a person wonders if they have completely gone insane-for Naomi, that moment was now. She lay in bed contemplating what she had been told. She repeated it over and over again until it became a mantra almost. She went to the bathroom, when she came back she had a drink..she had multiple drinks. At some point in the night she had drugs too. What kind of drugs? Did she go back to the bathroom perhaps after and meet someone who had some? No. She would never take anything a stranger offered her. Certainly not drugs. She only did that with Emily or Cook, they were the only ones she trusted. Was there anyone else at the bar perhaps? No...Kelly said it was just the two of them. So then what the fuck happened?

She stood Emily up. She must have been high to do that. Otherwise, it would have never happened.

Naomi knew what it felt like to blackout-she had done that enough in college and Emily had always been there to take care of her. This time it had been someone else. Her roommate. Kelly took her to the pub, originally to help with an essay she was struggling with but they never wrote notes; her blank notebook proved that much. It did her head in trying to remember the events of that night.

Emily had told her that Kelly would answer her questions but she didn't want to hear it from someone else. Even on her worst nights out she would remember bits and pieces days after. A week had passed since she woke up that morning confused, and she was still none the wiser. She doubted. She doubted herself thinking she was a prick for entertaining the thought that Kelly meant her harm but she couldn't help it. It was in her nature to question, to wonder. Wouldn't anyone?

"Naoms?"

Emily's voice interrupted her thoughts but the questions remained in the back of her mind. She couldn't shake it. "Hmm?"

"Dinner's ready."

Emily walked away leaving Naomi once again to her thoughts. _Maybe I should let it go_ she mused. If she couldn't remember anything by now then she never would and she would have to accept it.

She threw on a pair of track pants, grumbling still about how Emily had left her alone. She knew she should be grateful that her girlfriend and roommate were getting along but ever since Kelly and Emily had discovered their mutual love of Italian food, it seemed all there was time for was cooking the latest recipe or baking an almond cake. It wasn't as though Emily was ignoring her but she wanted time for just them. No baked ziti, no chicken caccatori-JUST Emily and Naomi. The aroma of tomatoes, cilantro and spices hit Naomi's nose as soon as she walked out of her room. Emily sat on the bench hovering over a large pot, stirring its contents with a wooden spoon. She smiled brightly when she saw Naomi walk in. She waved her over to where she sat, holding the spoon up in her direction.

"Taste it babe. It's almost ready."

Naomi walked towards Emily, a small smile on her face. She couldn't NOT smile when Emily was happy. It was impossible, her smile was contagious.

Naomi looked at Emily, blowing on the spoon before tasting the sauce. She was no expert on Italian cuisine but even she let out a small moan of appreciation. The spices had blended so well that the end result was the perfect combination of spicy and sweet, and suddenly Emily spending time researching recipes wasn't a problem anymore.

"Mmm Emily that's good!"

Emily chuckled placing the spoon on a small plate beside her. "You sound surprised."

Naomi placed her hands on her hips, leaning in to Emily smiling gently. "I dunno," she shrugged, "I'm still waiting for the day when I get food poisoning."

She knew the comment would get a rise out of Emily. She loved teasing her, loved making her laugh.

"I seem to recall a stuffed blonde laying in my bed asking for dessert after going for seconds."

"I was starving, working all afternoon leaves a woman hungry Emily. I had no choice but to eat."

"Oh pish posh, you're so full of it."

Naomi chuckled then, bringing her hands to Emily's back, just underneath her top, stroking the skin there. She gazed into Emily's eyes lovingly, content with just looking at her.

"I love you."

Naomi's breath caught in her throat the way it always did when Emily looked at her that way, open and adoringly. She leaned in, capturing red soft lips with her own, kissing her tenderly.

"I love you too," she murmured in between kisses.

Emily ran her fingers through her hair, crashing their lips together. Slow, passionate kisses turned frantic and desperate for more stopped when a throat coughed awkwardly.

It was Emily that broke the kiss, Naomi only buried her face into the redheads shoulder sighing louder than she realized.

"Should I leave you to it?" Kelly asked.

Emily cleared her throat, embarrassed, jumping down from the bench, her hand squeezing Naomi's apologetically.

"Dinner is almost done. Did you get the cream?"

Naomi turned around, her back colliding with the steel refrigerator, her arms crossed.

Kelly pulled out a small container from a paper bag and lifted it triumphantly. "Aye lassie."

Emily clapped her hands excitedly and Naomi had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes.

"Now we can make the tiramisu."

"Now?" Naomi asked.

Emily turned shaking her head as she walked towards the stove. "Tomorrow Naoms."

"Can't we just have regular food?"

The look Emily gave her was a warning and normally Naomi would've stopped but knowing that her girlfriend was already planning on spending the afternoon baking again with Kelly bothered her.

"What do you mean?"

"You're always cooking. Can't we just order curry and call it a night?"

Emily burst out laughing, doubling over as she clutched her side. She felt something click inside her, irritated that Emily was laughing. She waited until her girlfriend stopped laughing.

"What?"

"Naomi you're the first person who's ever complained that her girlfriend is cooking for her."

Naomi rolled her eyes and walked away. "Whatever. I'm going to shower. Bon appetit."

She stormed off leaving Emily calling after her. It wasn't until she was in the shower, the warm water hitting her skin turning it red that she calmed down. She was being irrational she knew it. She snapped at Emily and she hated doing that, she didn't deserve it. But there was something she couldn't put her finger on, something that was making her edgy.

She stayed far too long, lost in thought, the water turned icy cold. She toweled off, dressing quickly, bracing herself for the argument she knew was waiting for her.

The lights were off when she walked down the hallway leading to the kitchen. She could just make out the clean dishes and stove top in the moon light. She glanced towards Kelly's room noticing it was empty. The only light coming from her own room. She touched the doorknob taking a deep breath before walking in.

Emily was sat on the bed in an oversized shirt, her legs crossed as she read a book. She looked up when the door clicked shut and Naomi smiled nervously.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Naomi walked towards Emily's side of the bed, placing the book on the night table as she took her hands.

"I'm sorry."

"What was that about?"

"I don't-"

"Don't say you don't know Naomi. When you snap there's always a reason."

Emily looked at her knowingly and she sighed. No point in denying it. She felt stupid saying it but she couldn't lie to her.

She sighed covering her face with her hands, mumbling into them.

"What did you say?"

"I miss you," she admitted.

Emily looked at her confused.  
"What?"

"We don't-" she ran her fingers through her hair looking up embarrassed. "it feels like we don't have time for us. We both work and now when I'm home you're cooking and Kelly's there..."

"Aww Naomi."

"Emily please don't."

Emily smiled at her, pulling Naomi down on top of her as she lay back. She leaned up, placing a soft kiss on the blondes lips, smiling when she feels her relax into the embrace.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel neglected."

Naomi rolled off onto her side, feeling silly for even acting the way she did.

"I feel stupid."

"I have been throwing myself into these cooking projects with Kelly. I'll take a break-"

"Emily if you love cooking you shouldn't stop just because-"

"I love you more," she interrupted smiling at her. "Cooking was just my way of taking care of you."

She paused as she looked at her. "We both know you can't cook noodles without burning it."

Naomi laughed heartily remembering the last time she tried to cook a romantic dinner for Emily on her birthday. The night ended with a fire marshall instructing Naomi never to leave food cooking unattended. In her defense though Emily had made it difficult to pay attention to what she was cooking.

"That was still your fault, looking at me the way you did."

Emily chuckled softly, she had made it very hard for the blonde, touching her provocatively, whispering things in her ear all night.

"Naomi, if something is bothering you we have to discuss it 'kay? Don't keep it bottled up like that."

Naomi pressed her forehead against Emily's and nodded. "I promise."

Emily smiled, her hands trailing softly down the blonde's back. "Now what was it you said about feeling neglected?"

Naomi smiled as she leaned in to place kisses along Emily's jaw and neck. "Very neglected," she whispered.

Emily's eyes closed of their own accord when she felt Naomi suck on her pulse point, "Can't have that at all."

* * *

"Do you HAVE to go go?"

Emily looked up, an amused look on her face. "Naomi it's only for the night. I'll be back before you know it."

She didn't hold back her grumbling, muttering how unfair it was.

"Naomi it's my mother's birthday. You were invited to join us for dinner."

"But-"

"But you have an exam tomorrow that you can't miss, I know."

Naomi stood up and walked towards Emily,wrapping her arms around her. It was beyond irrational just how much she was going to miss Emily. They hadn't spent a minute apart, save for uni and work and the occasional interruption from Kelly.

"Hurry back."

She didn't care if she was acting like a soppy git. That's what Emily had resorted her to from the moment they were together.

She felt Emily smile, as she turned her head to look at her. "I don't want to be anywhere else."

She turned her body, facing Naomi as she wrapped her arms around her neck.. "You're a softy aren't you?"

Naomi nodded as she kissed her slowly, passionately. "Mmhmm you've ruined me."

Emily chuckled, hugging Naomi tightly. "Cook will be here soon."

"Mmhmm," she acknowledged.

"Which means I have to finish packing my bag Naoms."

She sighed, pressing a kiss to Emily's cheek as she slowly let go. "Katie will bring me back. She wants to see where you've dragged me off to," she finished with a smirk.

It took time for Naomi to warm up to Emily's twin, even now someone unfamiliar with their banter would swear they were enemies. But their "aggressive" joking was something they both understood. Veiled threats behind cleverly chosen words and compliments-after all, no one could really know Katie "Fucking" Fitch was nice. She had a reputation to maintain as a bad ass bitch, something that made Naomi smile when she remembered their early college years. Naomi was smitten with Emily from the beginning which caused tension between Katie and the blonde, both of whom refused to relinquish their hold on Emily. Eventually the fighting escalated to the point where Emily made them both apologize to one another and squashed any further incidences between the two.

"How is Katiekins?"

"She's doing fine. She and mum were approved a kick start loan for for a wedding planning business and apparently they have several clients already."

Naomi nodded remembering the 'Let's Get Fitched' idea Katie mentioned during dinner one night.

"Good."

Emily sighed, zipping her bag shut. "All packed."

"I still think you shouldn't leave."

Emily giggled amused by the look on Naomi's face. "I'll be back tomorrow night and you'll have me all to yourself," she said suggestively as she walked towards Naomi, a glint in her eyes.

"Promises promises," Naomi teased.

Just as she was leaning to kiss Emily, a loud knock on the door interrupted their moment.

"There's a bloke here that says he knows you Naomi."

Naomi rolled her eyes, gripping the back of Emily's shirt. "Must she always interrupt. I swear she times herself."

"Just a second Kelly." Emily smacked her shoulder playfully. "Behave."

"What?"

"I'm serious Nai. You haven't spoken to her since she moved in two weeks ago."

"I have spoken to her."

" 'Pass me the jam' does not count as a conversation."

"I said please," she rebutted.

"Naomi," Emily warned.

"Fine. I'll be nicer."

"That's my girl," she said pressing a kiss to pouting lips.

"Be nice to her, you have a lot in common actually."

"Huh?"

"Unlike you I've taken the time to speak to her. She's very friendly."

Naomi sighed conceding Emily was right as usual. The phrase 'better half' described Emily perfectly. She made Naomi a better person. Without her she would have stayed a sarcastic bitch. Part of her was still wary from the night she dubbed "blackout of the decade". She had yet to remember the night, anything she thought she did remember was fuzzy.

"Okay, I'll talk to her tonight or something."

Emily kissed her cheek, hugging her tightly. "Cook is waiting."

"Let him."

* * *

After the third time Emily leaned in to kiss Naomi, Cook had grabbed the petite redhead and hoisted her over his shoulders, grabbing the bag on his way. Had Naomi not been pissed off at her friend she would've found the sight before her comical as Emily bounced up and down, her hair covering her face. She shouted wanker at this retreating form and he called her a muff muncher in return. Naomi knew it was her fault the goodbye lasted longer than it should have but Emily was standing there looking all kissable...it was hard for her to stop.

When she turned Kelly was standing in the kitchen, cradling a beer between both hands. "Hard letting go huh?"

Naomi sighed heavily, leaning against the door. "That obvious?"

Kelly chuckled, handing her a beer from the fridge. "Here, looks like you could use one."

"Cheers," she tipped the bottle back, chugging half of its contents in one go. The silence that followed prompted Naomi to think about Emily's words and how she needed to speak to Kelly, putting aside what happened that night. It wasn't her fault Naomi had drunk like a fish.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Naomi looked up to concerned green eyes, feeling guilty for her behavior. She was acting silly over nothing. She sat on the couch facing the kitchen, not sure how to approach the subject but knowing she needed to put an end to it.

"I'm sorry if I've been..." pauses unsure, "um rude to you lately. Emily brought it up and I dunno, I get stuck in my head sometimes and yeah." She knew it came out wrong, the words garbled and complicated.

"It's okay," she shrugged. "I get it. I'm in the way here. I'll look for somewhere else to go."

Naomi stood up suddenly, nervous because she had been misunderstood. "No, no that's not what I meant. Jesus I'm not that much of a cow."

"You are a bit of a cow thought aren't you?"

Naomi relaxed slightly when she saw the smirk on the other girl's face. "Yeah and a bit of a prick from time to time."

There was another silence while they both drank the rest of their drinks, Naomi sitting back down on the couch not sure what to do.

"Consider it in the past Naoms."

She was glad that Kelly had turned around, preoccupied with grabbing two more beers, otherwise she would have seen her flinch. It felt wrong coming from her but she didn't have the heart to say anything. _She's just being nice, stop being a stupid cow about it. _

Kelly passed her the second beer. "Fresh start?"

Naomi smiled tightly, clinking her bottle with Kelly's. "Fresh start."

She waited until Kelly sat down opposite to her before she spoke again. "So tell me about yourself."

Green eyes looked up startled, nervous. "Me?"

"Yes you," she chuckled. "No one else here."

She watched as Kelly fidgeted, taking several chugs of beer before speaking again. "Not much to say. I'm boring. You'll fall asleep within the first five minutes."

Naomi took a large gulp of beer, enjoying the warm fuzzy feeling the alcohol was giving her. It was just enough to take the edge off and ease her nerves. "Go on then. I only know that you broke up with someone and you're here now at uni studying.." she paused, trying to think what it was Kelly had said she was studying. "Actually you never said that night we spoke. What are you studying?"

"I'm undecided," came the quick reply.

"Have you spoken to an admissions counselor to help you with that? The last thing you want to do is graduate with a Liberal Arts degree, can't do shit with it."

"Yeah, I am. We're working on something."

Naomi waited for her to elaborate but when there was no further response she drank the rest of her beer in silence trying to come up with something to say, kicking herself for not thinking this through first. She was always bad at starting conversations.

"Sooooo..." she drawled.

"Did Emily tell you what I said?" she asked curiously.

Blue eyes bugged slightly as she froze in her seat. She couldn't help but detect a slight edge in her voice, as if Emily discussing anything with her was a bother. The last thing she wanted to do was throw Emily under the bus but she couldn't lie either. She thought for a moment, taking in Kelly's body language, how her arms were crossed in front of her, her jaw set. It didn't take an expert on body language to see the other girl was bothered by it.

_Shit._

"No..I mean well she might have stated something about me being a cow...to you."

The other girl merely stared at her.

"Emily doesn't gossip," she interjected. The last thing she wanted was for Kelly to think her girlfriend was one of _those _types.

"She put me in my place. I know I've been distant and it's rude of me. I just," she paused, searching for the right words to say, "the other night..and I couldn't remember anything, ya know? I still can't and it bothered me...a lot. I was taking it out on you because I guess I blamed you for it and it's stupid really because I was the one who drank too much. It's not like you made me do it."

She paused staring into green eyes anxiously.

"I'm sorry Kelly."

She sat across from Naomi, chuckling. "It's interesting how things get out of hand so quickly isn't it?"

Naomi could only nod unsure of where she was going with that statement.

"I took you out to help you with a paper and the night ends up shit."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Maybe...maybe not. I know it caused problems-"

"No, no Emily-"

"She kept asking questions about it and I was nervous-"

"What?" Naomi interrupted confused.

"What?"

"You said Emily kept asking you questions?" The thought made her nervous. She knew it was wrong to feel that way. She might not have remembered the night but she knows she didn't do anything that would hurt Emily...apart from stand her up for dinner. "What do you mean?"

Kelly looked at her as if she spawned a second head in mid conversation. "What do you mean what do you mean?"

"Bloody fucking hell Kelly, Emily...what did Emily say?"

She didn't wait for an answer. She gripped onto the bottle between her hands, walking straight to the kitchen feeling the need to drink more alcohol. There was a voice somewhere in the back of her head protesting, warning her not to jump to conclusions but she didn't listen. She shut the refrigerator door with a little more force than she intended on, not bothering to use a bottle cap, using the hem of her top to twist the cap off. She tilted her head back, taking a large gulp. She took a deep breath knowing her actions at this point seemed psychotic.

She turned around, ashamed. "I don't...I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

She never experienced a shift in mood swings that quickly before. She felt her heart beat wildly, way above the average. It made her feel uncomfortable, uneasy the way her heart moved erratically. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. When that didn't work she took another large gulp. She knew it was wrong to drink when she felt like this; if she drank every time she was upset or pissed off, it would become a problem. She didn't need alcohol to calm down. What she needed was answers. She knew Emily. She shouldn't have overreacted.

"Hey...you alright?'

Kelly was looking at her oddly again, walking towards her carefully. It bothered her.

"Course I'm fuckin' alright. What did Emily fuckin' say?"

She clenched her jaw tightly. She felt off. She shouldn't be this angry. She felt on edge and she couldn't control it.

_Fuckin hell Naomi, get a grip on it. Stop drinking while you're at it._

"It was nothing bad babe, okay? She was just worried about you, that night. She said you hadn't been wasted like that in awhile and she thought you would've acted out or something."

She shook her head, feeling extremely dizzy all of a sudden, her skin felt like there were bugs crawling over her. She scratched her neck, beer spilling onto her top. Nothing was making sense. Emily said Kelly had told her everything, why would she have asked if she acted out?

"Babe you look really bad. Are you okay?"

She felt that pain in her chest again, it was like her heart threatened to explode. "I need to lie down. I'm not well."

She walked away, leaving the unfinished drink on the bench. It felt like she was having an out of body experience. Her senses felt heightened, but she knew that couldn't be possible because she had been drinking and drinking slows you down, not the other way around. She threw herself onto the bed, taking her top off, feeling too warm for the material. She tried closing her eyes to calm herself down but it didn't work. She tried rubbing her chest, her heart pounding frantically underneath her palm. She sat up, looking around wildly.

"Jesus fucking Christ."

She stood up, pacing from one corner to the next of her room, picking her nails. She needed to do something. She couldn't stay still, her body moving back and forth between walls as she pulled down her pajama bottoms, the heat now unbearable. If she could wear herself out...maybe she wouldn't feel so edgy.

"Maybe a walk would help," she mused. "There' a gym at the uni. I could go there. It's late, no one else would be there. Just fucking calm down. Fuck sake!"

"Naomi!"

"WHAT?! What the fuck do you want? I can't fucking breathe and my heart is fucking pounding. I need to make it stop!"

"Here."

Naomi looked down to where Kelly extended her hand, two small white pills in her palm.

"What's that?"

"It's not drugs, well not the illegal kind anyways. It'll help calm you down."

She eyed the tablets suspiciously. "I don't fucking need them."

"Naomi you're sweating and pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Trust me, these will help you. I know sharing medication is wrong but these help me with my anxiety attacks."

She looked up at her surprised."You have anxiety attacks?"

Kelly nodded. "Really bad. It's not all the time though. Every now and then when things get too rough," she shrugged nonchalantly. "They relax me, so please, take them."

Kelly guided her towards the bed, grabbing her arm which Naomi shook off violently, flaring her nostrils.

"Don't fucking touch me you fucking cunt."

Kelly stepped back in shock, her eyes welling up. Her touch felt wrong. Or maybe she was too fucked up to behave like a rational adult but her hands were too warm, clammy. It made her shudder in disgust when she felt cold sweat drip down her forearm. She wiped it furiously with the corner of her bed sheet.

Naomi felt her stomach drop, guilt and anger building within her, when she looked up. Internally she was panicking, she didn't feel quite right. Maybe it was the stress of failing again, the dread of Emily not trusting in her after these past two weeks that was making her like that. She nodded nonetheless, taking the pills gratefully as Kelly handed her a glass of water. She swallowed them quickly and lay back on the bed after placing the glass on the night stand. She looked up, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm a right mess," she smiled nervously. "I fuck things up it seems."

Kelly smiled softly at her, shaking her head as she sat on the edge of the bed, taking one of the blonde's hand and cradling it with her own. "I wouldn't say that. You're stressed out. Look I didn't know Emily couldn't talk about things that happen between you two with me. I shouldn't have asked her about it. I'm sorry."

" 'S'fine," she mumbled, the effects of the pills hitting her quicker than she expected. She sighed with relief when her chest no longer felt like it was pounding through her ribcage. She dozed off soon afterward, thanking Kelly as she left the room, falling into a troubled sleep, dreams of a dark figure haunting her.

* * *

_She gazed at the sleeping beauty beside her. It was difficult to refrain herself from touching Naomi, especially when she was half naked and her skin looked this inviting. Her eyes raked over soft, pale skin and her breath hitched when Naomi turned in her sleep, her sight landing on pert breasts. She groaned softly knowing she gave the blonde enough meds to fall asleep until tomorrow night. She would lay here by her side for as long as she could. She relished the warmth of the body next to her it was surreal. _

_She hated herself for what she had done to her. She didn't think it through. The meth she laced Naomi's beer with had gone awry. She wanted the blonde to be horny enough to fuck her and that blew up in her face. She was frustrated in every sense of the word. Never again she thought. It broke her heart to see Naomi so agitated and vulnerable. The way her beloved shuddered when she touched her arm...that's what made her cry. It was going the wrong way. _

_Emily leaving was a blessing. It gave her the opportunity to make her next move. A bold one at that but a move in the right direction for them both. Naomi would see that she was the only one taking care of her during the dark moments. Emily was gone. What kind of a girlfriend leaves her in that state? A fucking stupid bitch is who. It made her angry to think about it. She needed to stay in control. She looked back at Naomi, smiling softly. _

"_You're so beautiful Naomi."_

_She ran her fingertips lightly from her neck, down across her jaw, letting her palm explore the body beside her. She licked her lips as she palmed one of Naomi's tits softly, careful not to disturb her slumber. She moved further down, across her stomach, stopping once she reached the top of her right thigh. She paused to make sure Naomi was still sound asleep, her fingers twitching towards the blonde's middle. She wanted to know so bad how she tasted. Her hand balled into a fist as she tried to regain her strength. It was difficult to think around Naomi; she was intoxicating._

_She leaned in on one elbow, unable to resist anymore. Taking her time, she closed her eyes as she inhaled the sweet vanilla scent she associated with Naomi. It was alluring, it always had been, from the moment she first laid eyes on her during Freshmen week. All that time ago she had pined for her. Nothing else mattered. She hadn't been able to sleep or eat properly when she thought she would never see the blonde again. She had fucked multiple randoms at different bars that week. Always opting for blondes. _

_She pressed her lips against her neck, her tongue darting out to taste. She was exquisite, beyond anything she could have imagined. She unzipped her jeans, pulling them down quickly, feeling her arousal grow with every second. She claimed Naomi's neck again, biting the skin excitedly as she sucked. She wanted to leave a mark. Her own mark claiming Naomi. She had to have her. She HAD to. She didn't stop, sucking and biting for several minutes before moving down to her collarbone. She could see the skin was red and raw from her actions. She smiled and looked down, Naomi's arm lay on the bed just beside her. She couldn't stop if she tried._

_Laying back she moved Naomi's hand gently, moving it from the top of her breasts, down along her stomach, retracing the same movements she had made on Naomi's body only moments ago. She bit her lip when she let the blondes hand sit just above the waste band of her thong. She spread her thighs apart, pushing Naomi's hand down, coating her fingers with her wetness. She rid herself of the material, she needed more. Her hips bucked upwards once she placed the soft hand on her again, her clit screaming for attention. She needed to stop. She had to focus. This was her way to push Emily out. This would tip the balances in her favor. She removed Naomi's hands from her center and placed it carefully on Naomi's stomach._

_She panicked when the blonde stirred in her slumber grabbing her jeans and ducking to the side of the bed as she held her breath. If Naomi woke up and saw here there, she didn't think she had a chance of explaining everything to her. She couldn't twist it to suit her. Slowly, she lifted her head fearing the worst. She exhaled loudly when she saw the blonde was still fast asleep._

_Too close a call Kelly, she thought to herself. She bit her lip wanting to do one last thing before she left. She knew the temptation of being in the same room as Naomi was too much for her to handle. Emily would be here later and she wouldn't be able to stay awake for much longer. Clutching her jeans to her body, she bent her body forward, her lips inching their way slowly across Naomi's thighs. She smiled when she thought of how it would look in the afternoon when Emily would burst through the door only to see Naomi in that state. _

_She of course would hide in her room while everything took place. If necessary she would hide in the closet to disclose her whereabouts. She could climb down the sides of the building using the fire escape. She would have to be careful, make sure no one saw her. Once outside, she would walk up the stairs and act like she had been out all night long. It was the perfect plan. She bit down hard on the skin making sure her teeth would stay imprinted. _

"_Sweet dreams baby."_

* * *

She felt her skin crawl, the way it does when someone is watching you. Her eyes snapped open and then closed again when faced with bright sunlight. Her body felt weird, like it wasn't her own. She needed a shower, desperately, she noted.

"Naoms?"

The sound of Emily's voice made her wake up instantly, a smile spreading across her face as she sat up facing the redhead. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw tears streaming down her face. She got out of bed immediately, needing to comfort her.

"Emily what's wrong?"

She reached out to her and winced when Emily batted her hand away.

"Ems? Is your mum okay?"

She struggled to produce a coherent thought. She was anxious to know what was wrong with Emily, why she pushed her away like that.

"You couldn't help yourself could you HUN?"

She shook her head unsure why Emily was behaving like that towards her. "I don't know what you're talking about. Ems just sit down we can talk-"

_SLAP_

"You fucking cheated on me again!"

Naomi stood, mouth open in shock. _What the hell is going on here?_

"No! Of course not! Why would I-?"

"You liar!" More tears. Brown eyes looking into blue eyes with so much pain, Naomi had a lump in her throat. She had no idea why Emily was accusing her.

"Emily I didn't-"

"Fuck you Naomi," she spat back.

Emily grabbed her arm pulling her towards the door, slamming it shut so Naomi could see herself in the full length mirror. She didn't need Emily to point it out. She saw the red mark on her throat, turning slowly into a disgusting shade of purple. She touched it in horror, her eyes welling up with tears as she saw the hurt in Emily's eyes. She felt confused, lost.

"No, I didn't...I couldn't have," was her only reply.

* * *

**Okay so don't kill me please. It was very difficult to write this chapter and I contemplated deleting it several times because it shocked me..and I'm writing it *sighs* go on...tell me you hated it :P**


End file.
